ARLINGTON, VA — Melanie Martinez was once a “technical virgin” — but now she’s officially fucked. By PBS, anyway.The dark-haired now-ex-hostess of The Good Night Show received her walking papers after executives from the PBS Kids Sprout network learned about one of her previous acting gigs; one in which her character was far removed from the lovable babysitter she portrayed for them.

Indeed, Martinez informed PBS officials late last week about the existence of a video in which she had lampooned Public Safety Announcements regarding the preservation and maintenance of appropriate female virginity. The video, one of a series of two, was entitled Technical Virgin and contained dialogue that Sandy Wax, network president, said was deemed “inappropriate for her roles as a preschool program host and may undermine her character’s credibility with our audience.”

Wax did not indicate how many groggy two-to-five-year-olds who watch The Good Night Show’s comforting cartoons and stories prior to bedtime are believed likely to have ever seen the indie shorts and thus been affected by them. Stage actress and mother of a toddler Martinez had portrayed a babysitter whose job included soothing a puppet to sleep.

Given that Martinez was immediately fired, The Good Night Show has been replaced temporarily with cartons until a new host — with a less colorful acting history — can be located.