[COLOR=red]This is Part 1 in a three-part series of conversations with Vancouver-based sex worker and advocate Susan Davis, whose 25-year career led to an extraordinary philosophy about life, sex and the human condition. Part 2 is here, and Part 3 is here.[/COLOR]
By Peter Berton
YNOT – For the past 25 years, Susan Davis has been a professional sex worker in Vancouver. She’s done the street, the massage parlors and the bedrooms of the seaside city. In that time, Davis said she grew as a human being, motivating her to become an advocate for sex workers’ rights and an “eyes wide open” observer of the human condition.
In the truest sense of the word, Davis is a professional. She takes pride in her career and how she conducts herself. And she is open about the realities of sex work, both good and bad. In this three-part series, Davis will lead YNOT.com readers through the real life of a sex worker. As she reveals in this first installment, the job is much like any other, with its own set of demands, disappointments and rewards.
YNOT.com: Break it down for us: What are the elements of escort/sex work (i.e., actual client contact, promotion, time off, other activities)?
Susan Davis: Well, every day I get up at about 5:30 a.m. and have some coffee, turn on my phone and begin to ready myself for the day. I shower, shave, do my hair, put on my makeup … although I don’t wear much make up, but I do love false eyelashes. I then “work” until 7 or 8 at night. Sometimes I go out for a bit before bed, and then begin again.
I train three times a week in between clients, as well. This serves a dual purpose: It helps me look nice, but also keeps me limber. I am 42, and these bones have seen a lot of mileage over the past 25 years. Sex work is very physical, and one must be able to move and contort in a variety of ways.
How do you find clients?
I run ads in the paper and online. It’s all about getting them to phone me, so I don’t put too much info in the ad. This way they will call to inquire, and I will reel them in with my personality.
It is a lot of phone work, and a lot depends on my ability to communicate safety and trust to the client. I include information about how discreet my location is; for instance, “I live alone in a quiet high-rise on the west end slope downtown in Vancouver.” This tells them that I am not part of an agency and that I respect their privacy. I use a calm, relaxed and even tone in my voice also to create trust and a feeling of safety.
What services do you provide, and who are your clients?
The services I provide are as varied as humanity itself. No two customers are alike. Each has specific needs and preferences.
Some men are simply stressed out and need a “mini vacation” to relax during the day. Others have complex fantasies that must be developed in detail over email or telephone prior to the visit — sometimes for a month!
Others are dealing with a tragedy in their lives and need to be consoled. For example, if a man’s wife of 50 years dies or if she is ill for an extended period, this can be very difficult for men, who are expected to be the strength of a family during these times. They need a chance to grieve, to be weak, to cry, to express how they feel.
Or say it’s a young man stricken with a physically debilitating disease. He is going to die. He has never known the physical aspects of being a man. Does he not deserve to experience this, to be consoled and to experience the connection that evolves between two people when they embrace each other naked and intimately?
I have also met men who were movie stars, sports stars, politicians, business tycoons, and even once flew on a private plane on a whirlwind trip with a client who was my friend for many years after. Amazing!
The economic stereotype of sex workers is endless sex, with the money rolling in after each “trick.” What is the reality, money-wise?
Some days I will spend 12 hours answering the phone and make no money at all. Our industry is quite unpredictable. Those days can be very frustrating.
I think people get the impression that sex workers are lazy and that we make easy money. Well, it’s not that way at all. I would say, on average, I see one or two clients a day, so that’s from $200 to $360 a day. After advertising, cell phone, rent, hydro, supplies, that is barely breaking even. Also, if you break down $200 by 12 hours, it’s under $20 an hour, and $360 is $30 an hour. So, while this is a livable wage, after expenses it becomes a tough way to make money.
I do a lot of advocacy for sex workers’ rights as well, so that costs me. When I am not here, my business does not make money, and I don’t get paid for the committee work I do.
Many of us are on the edge of extreme poverty and homelessness on a month-to-month basis. We are living in a post-Olympic-boom financial bust. Money is strapped in Vancouver as it is. I am mostly surviving on my regular clientele for now.
In my off time, if I take any, I like to go and watch rugby at Stanley Park. I have always enjoyed the company of men — and the guys at the club are really supportive of my political work and are non judgmental. I also make Victorian corsets and play classical piano.
There seem to be some similarities between being an escort and being a waitress, in terms of the people skills and patience required.
Yes, I have worked as a bartender and waitress and definitely see similarities. A person must use their own personality to build rapport with customers and to develop a regular clientele. As a waitress, I remember thinking I was doing the same job — I exited sex work on my husband’s command; good riddance to him — but I was making a lot less money.
How do you manage to psyche yourself up for sex with complete strangers, some of whom may not be people you would choose for yourself?
I am 42 years old and well beyond feeling like I have to fake it or worrying about whether a customer will be physically attractive to me. Besides, I don’t really see the customers like that anymore. I see the beauty in every one of them, their strengths and vulnerabilities. It’s a lot of power, really.
Many people feel as if “doing it” with an older gentleman would be terrible, but they miss the point. These older men were once beautiful and young, and they have lived experiencing many amazing and wonderful things.
I see the young men, the light in their eyes, the spark of warrior that all men have. I love to give them that and love the way it makes me feel. It’s a kind of freedom, not to be bound by the rules of society.
All told, I benefit from their experience and knowledge tenfold. It has helped to define me as a person to see so many different perspectives and hear so many men’s stories — approaching 30,000 men if I am not mistaken.
Coming up in Part 2: Davis discusses the impact of sex work on her relationships, and the perks of being in the business.
