JAPAN — What girl, desperate for a pit stop but worried about soiling her under and/or outer garments, hasn’t envied her penis-bearing friends their ability to just whip it out and let it whiz? While the question may be rhetorical, the solution is Wii. The gaming system, of course.
Always innovative and often weird, one of the latest sensations to work its way through the Japanese island is helping schoolgirls, office workers, and stay-at-home moms alike enjoy the freedom and creativity that comes with being able to stand up while peeing.
All thanks to the Super Pii Pii Brothers.
Like many games aimed at the young or tech inhibited, the mechanics of the Super Pii Pii Brothers game are remarkably simple. The player merely straps herself into a belted harness that sophisticated sexually active adults will likely associate with more intimate two-player naked activities, and jacks herself into her Wiimote.
Then the games begin and the yellow rain falls.
Once the game screen has loaded, a series of bathroom stalls with toilets present themselves for target practice, with the player tilting her body at appropriate angles, as a seemingly never-ending stream of thick yellow “urine” blasts like a firehouse toward the bowls.
The challenge in play, as in life, is to get as much pii into the toilet – and as little as possible on the floor.
In order to make game play even more challenging than it might otherwise be, the toilet lids open and close, sometimes revealing adorable animals that presumably went looking for fresh water to drink but found themselves taking a warm shower, instead.
Pii-ing on a toilet animal earns extra points, but pii-ing on the floor too much ends the game – so players are advised to avoid becoming hypnotized by the “realistic pee fluid dynamics” boasted by the marketing material.
More than 100 different bathrooms, located everywhere from trendy bars to opulent palaces to traditional Asian squat toilets, provide eager pii-ers ample opportunities to practice their targeting abilities. According to the promotional literature, “Super Pii Pii Brothers promotes good bathroom skills and allows women to experience for the first time the pleasure of urinating while standing.”
Actually, it just allows them to do it without soaking their panties and stockings.
To see what all the fuss is about, visit www.ThinkGeek.com/stuff/41/superpiipii.html — and don’t forget, this April 1st reviewed game includes a multi-player mode that allows dueling pii streams for even more pii fun!
