HOLLYWOOD, FL — With a west-coast-to-east-coast air adventure beginning shortly after midnight and ending shortly before noon, the big Internext question for me was whether or not I could sleep on the plane. The answer was “no,” but by the time I arrived at the luxurious Westin Diplomat in Hollywood, FL, it didn’t matter. Other than a not-so-fresh-feeling associated with the unfamiliar humidity, I felt fine.This is my first summer Internext. Last year I was busy judging the Mr. & Ms. Oregon State Leather contest and attending an assortment of related events. This year Florida has priority, with the leather events waiting for me upon my arrival home.
Not a big hot weather fan, I packed sarongs and skirts, flip flops and tank tops into my suitcase and prepared for another industry family reunion, this time along the sandy shores of Florida – a state I mostly associate with aggressive reptiles, Cuban immigrants, Jewish retirees, hurricanes, large insects, and oranges. I haven’t even been on the lower right coast for a full 24-hours and I’m realizing how wholly retarded my view of this area has been.
The first thing to really impress me about the area was the humidity, which introduced itself the moment I exited the airport in search of transportation to the resort. The warm moisture clung momentarily to my lungs like a damp cloth thrown against a wall, loosening reluctantly as I forced myself to take a deep breath and adjust. Already feeling sub-optimally clean after my long flight, the idea of a long shower became a near obsession. Upon arrival at the Westin Diplomat, I learned that the shower would have to wait until I had procured my badge, because the resort is entirely off-limits to anyone without one.
Once in my room, two things immediately captured my attention: the vast Atlantic ocean, which my ancestors had crossed further north short generations ago – and a deep soak tub and glass enclosed shower.
After indulging in not only a luxurious bath but also a cleansing shower, I donned a tank top and sarong and went out to tour the grounds and meet my public. It didn’t take any time at all to locate the majority of the YNOT crew and a late lunch (breakfast for me, unless the mini muffin on the plane from Houston counts) with AVN Online associate producer and AVN Afternoons co-host MJ McMahon gave me the opportunity to admire the resort’s splendid swimming pools and begin the deliciously grueling process of recognizing business associates and friends who depend upon events just such as this in order to allow us the opportunity to share drinks, break bread, swap stories, and – when all goes well – do a little business while working to make the overall industry more efficient, more responsible, and more profitable.
My workday ended at 2:00 am; pretty standard for me. But by then I’d managed to travel thousands of miles, fret about the situation in the Middle East, drink Rum Runners with Bobby and Woody from SwapperNet, get kisses from both Wasteland’s Colin Rowntree and Python’s Shaft, eat pad thai and talk about my September 9th Washington DC Masturbate-a-thon with Chris Potoski from Parents in Adult and Jason Tucker of Falcon Foto, admire Lincoln from Homegrown Video’s tagger-inspired jewelry, toss back rum and Cokes with my corporate attorney, inhale the fragrant cigar smoke exhaled by YNOT Bob and his posse of chaise lounging friends, be asked if I would pinch hit for Extreme Associate’s Rob Black on the Good vs. Evil panel if he can’t make it, and exchange philosophical “I love you buts…” with New Destiny Media Group’s Spike Goldberg while explaining that his “Godzilla fisting the Empire State Building” example isn’t very good, since the latter is a building and thus unable to give consent, but that Godzilla fisting Rodan not only works better but sounds like a hot new genre to me.
