MILFORD, MA — Pastor Peter Lopez is one of a projected 100 people who don’t simply think Doc’s Sports Bar shouldn’t be allowed to offer adult entertainment, but plans to stand outside of the club this Saturday and wave a sign saying as much. If an article in the local press is to be taken seriously, the crowd of protesters will include the demographic supposedly being protected from the evils that are intrinsic in female nudity: minors. “It’s brought in all colors, all nationalities, all ages,” the Family Worship Center pastor is quoted as saying of the protest by the Wicked Local Milford. “It’s not a religious thing,” he’s quick to assure. “It’s a purposeful thing.”

The exact purpose of bringing underage children to a strip club protest is uncertain, but in keeping with the tradition of some sex negative protestors, who have long brought pre-adolescent children, including toddlers and infants, to abortion clinic protests.

According to the weather bureau, this particular exposure to adult sexuality from the sidewalk will likely occur during a thunderstorm, which is presumably healthier for children than having a strip club somewhere in the general vicinity of their warm and dry home.

“We believe in the cause, whether it’s rainy or sunny,” one Milford mother assured the Wicked Local Milford.

The protesters are heartened by a Tuesday decision by the Planning Board to oppose the Kevin Coady’s application for an adult entertainment license. While the board contends it’s a zoning issue, the protesters see it as a “moral issue,” in the words of another sign making protester.

Church youth director Lillian Rodriquez, who presumably has the contacts to introduce many minors to the possible location of an erotic dance establishment, indicated to the Wicked Local Milford that the “Not now, not ever” sentiment of the group is a multi-ethnic outcry. In order to make sure as many members of the local area as possible know of the group’s disapproval, Rodriquez has made signs featuring a circle with a slash through the words “Exotic Dancing” in Spanish. Other signs will proclaim the message in English, and yet others in Portuguese.

Rodriquez echoed the concerns of other protesters when she told the press that her reason for this show of activism was “a way of us protecting those that come after us. Our town, to us, is an inheritance.”

Thanks to the efforts of Lopez, Rodriquez, and other concerned adults, after Saturday, an untold number of minors will have a much clearer idea what they’ll inherit once they’re adults.

And it’s all because they must be protected. After all, pastor Sorines Lopez’ sign reads, “Let’s think about our children,” in Spanish.

Protesters are encouraged to park in the lot behind Imperial Buffet and Dunkin’ Donuts. Law enforcement officers will block part of the road in front of Doc’s.

After protesting the strip-club that doesn’t even exist, the group plans to attend the afternoon Zoning Board of Appeals hearing on the topic.