Recently here on YNOT my colleague and friend LAJ expressed dismay at the amount of “drama” that occurs on some of the adult industry’s message boards. Not a new observation, but still a valid one. By drama, he’s referring of course to a number of different kinds of commonplace occurrences that include things like finger-pointing, name-calling, or attempts to make one poster look foolish by mocking, taunting, or baiting.Some people in the industry even use message boards to specifically “call out” others, the expectation being that “drama” gets attention, and all attention is good. They ask friends to post in these threads, to support their side so it seems like a lot of people are opposed to their rival’s positions. Does it work? Sure, it can work – but I’d argue that it can also backfire, making the aggressor looks really bad. And even when it works, there’s a price.
Drama isn’t unique to the adult industry of course, as it tends to be a characteristic of Internet discourse in general. Attacking other people online is so commonplace that new use of the verb “to flame” has generally come to mean attacking or insulting someone else from the safety of your keyboard.
Whether drama is commonplace or not, LAJ was absolutely right to express his frustration with the amount of “drama” that takes place on adult industry message boards. So in honor of the topic that he started, here are a few reasons why it’s in your best interest to maintain a professional front at all times, and pass on joining the drama club even though it might be tempting to jump in from time to time.
1) Drama communicates a lack of discipline. Business is not for the weak, and if you find a way to make money then you can be sure there will be competitors hot on your heels. If you’re going to compete in a global marketplace like the Internet then you’re going to have to run a tight ship. When you can’t control your own behavior, how are you supposed to maintain order in the competitive world of business?
2) Drama can backfire. As I indicated before, you can severely harm your reputation and your company’s reputation by acting like a high school student in plain view of your industry peers. If you use drama to get attention, you’re gambling your company’s name, and your own name too. Calculated risks are sometimes part of the game in business, but smart business owners will look for ways to reduce risk as much as possible.
3) Drama can burn bridges. Okay, I admit that every now and then you come across an individual who is so questionable, so unethical that you don’t really mind burning that bridge. But most of the time disputes between two people are really minor matters in the grand scheme of things; often two people who are unhappy with each other one day turn out to be good friends the next. But it makes it harder to mend fences when you’ve been on record calling the other person all kinds of names on industry message boards.
4) Drama can be misguided. Even if you think you have a legitimate gripe against a person or a company, you have to admit that it’s possible you’ve made a miscalculation somewhere. What happens if you go on a public offensive, only to find out later on that you had your facts wrong?
5) Drama is a waste of time. Drama-laden message board threads have a way of sucking you in, chewing up your hours and spitting them out. What’s more important to you, spending time improving your business or spending time trying to make someone else look bad? If you said the latter then you might want to pass on business and find another way to pay the bills. Maybe a politician?
6) Drama leaves a trail. Right now you may think you’ll work in adult for the rest of your life, but what happens if you want to change jobs at some point? Even if your future employer doesn’t care that your past work related to adult, they might care when a simple search of your name turns up all your nasty and unprofessional behavior.
Two things that are extremely valuable assets in business are your name, and your company’s brand. These are things that you build up slowly over time; but what takes years and years to build up can be destroyed in a very short amount of time, with just a few bad decisions.
None of us are perfect. I’ve engaged in drama threads myself from time to time, but can tell you right here and now that I now regret participating in every single one. So my advice is simple: pass on the drama threads, and stick instead to circles where good ethical business practices and industry professionalism are encouraged.
