KNOXVILLE, TN — Nice Guys have long watched in horror as the girls they fancied fell into the arms and beds of heartless Lotharios that provided them with endless hours of Dear Abby letter-writing fodder and relationship baggage. Why, oh why, didn’t those girls spend their time with the more stable, if perhaps less glamorous, Nice Guys — and save everyone a fortune in therapy bills? The good news for Everyday Guys – and pretty women – is that when they finally do hook up with one another, they’re both more likely to have a happy marriage.Now, not every Nice Guy is an Everyday Guy, and for those sad, lonely, and tragically handsome men, science doesn’t appear to have much reassuring to say just at the moment. But for the vast majority of male humanity, it may be comforting to know that jackpots are possible if the physical appearance of their female counterpart is important to them.
Although the researchers at the University of Tennessee agree that what makes a person attractive is subjective, they also agree that looks matter to guys when it comes to picking a partner. Women, on the other hand, seem to be looking for someone who can put up with their shit and change a light bulb once in a while.
According to lead researcher James McNulty, even within the diversity of ways that beauty can be manifested, there are certain norms. Universally, women with “baby face” features score higher with men in terms of attractiveness. Symmetrical features, large eyes, and balanced waist-hip ratios continually capture men’s attention. Looks are especially important during the early stages of relationships, with couples who are equally attractive often having especially strong initial mutual attraction and relationship satisfaction.
But things change once the relationship becomes more established.
McNulty’s team studied 82 newlywed couples in their early to mid-20s that had been together for nearly three years prior to marrying within the previous six months. Each couple was videotaped discussing a personal problem such as diet, exercise, or employment for 10 minutes. The footage was then reviewed to determine how supportive each partner was during the discussion.
What the team discovered was that women who were considered better looking than their husbands were given more emotional support than women who were as good looking or less attractive than their husbands.
“A negative husband would’ve said, ‘This is your problem, you deal with it, versus ‘Hey, I’m here for you; what do you want me to do? How can I help you?’” McNulty shares in the February issue of the Journal of Family Psychology.
Interestingly enough, in couples with a more attractive husband, both partners lacked support for one another. McNulty suggests that this may be a result of the less attractive women mirroring the lack of interest in being supportive that they perceive in their husbands.
Couples within the study were determined to fit into three fairly equal categories with one-third having a more attractive wife, one-third a more attractive husband, and a final third having partners with comparable looks.
“The husband who’s less physically attractive than his wife is getting something more than maybe he can expect to get,” McNulty proposed to LiveScience.com. “He’s getting something better than he’s providing at that level. So, he’s going to work hard to maintain that relationship.”
In a world of supply and demand, McNulty postulates that the more attractive husband may, on some level, be scanning the crowd for better opportunities, whereas the more simple man essentially counts his blessings every morning and does what he can to keep his relationship healthy and long-lasting.
