A retired priest from North Carolina, Norm Self starred in his first gay pornographic video when he was eighty-three years old. Now eighty-five, Mr. Self told The Sun that he’s feeling “more vibrant than ever” after having appeared in four adult films. He wasn’t paid for any of his performances, but he says that’s fine with him because it’s been like “having a party.”
Self entered the priesthood at the age of 18 after a struggle against masturbation. He later left the priesthood to pursue ministry as a layperson and to get married. But, after twenty-one years of marriage, while working as a campus minister in the late nineties, he realized, “Guess what, I’m a gay man!”
Just as spiritual today—but much less religious—, he now works primarily as a “minister of erotic education and the sacred intimate,” a teacher who helps people of all genders explore the healing power of pleasure, he told HuffPo. His ultimate mission, he said, is to ensure that ““sex-negative norms are removed from our society’s vocabulary and replaced with the implicit message that our birthright is to enjoy erotic joy and bliss.”
So when his roommate approached him about appearing in a gay porn film with two younger men, he thought, “We are going to have sex anyway so why not make it a liberating and bonding experience instead of hiding it away in the shadows?” he told The Sun.
“For those who have grown up in a sex-suppressive society where everything outside conventional norms/mores is labeled ‘porn’ in order to suppress it,” he told HuffPo, “and who, therefore, find a kind of titillation in being ‘outside the norm’ of suppression—I’m happy to wear the label.”
To younger folks looking for advice about sex, the soft-spoken eighty-five-year-old had this to say: “Learn to pay attention and look for those subtleties. Learn to notice, to enjoy, and to give thanks for those subtler things in life that make it more enjoyable…And learn that there are many other “erogenous zones” than just your genitals. Get really acquainted with and train your mind—that’s your greatest sex organ!”
Priest stock photo by Juan Romero
