DESTIN, FL — Some people simply can not be happy unless the world marches to their particular drummer. Such appears to be the case with the representatives of at least one church that opposes the opening of a new strip club, even if breaks ground in a remote industrial area. Fred Rall of Safe Harbor Presbyterian Church spoke for his congregation when he informed the Destin City Council on Monday evening that “We’d like express our opposition to any kind of sexually oriented business in Destin at all.”

Presumably fearing for the spiritual health of the church’s members, Rall insisted that the proposed industrial location off of Airport Road is simply too close for comfort. Specifically causing him distress is the fact that, in order to accommodate the new club, a 500 foot zoning restriction will need to be lifted to create available spaces within the only area that legally allows adult businesses at all.

Rall’s true agenda was likely summed up when he informed the Council that “We don’t see the reason for one (a strip club).”

Rall pressed for a 1,100 foot distance requirement, stating that “If there must be a sexually oriented business in Destin, we request it be as far away as possible, if it has to be in the industrial zone.”

Joining him in opposition to the proposed establishment is Father Mike Hesse of Immanuel Anglican Church, who praised the city for spending $100,000 of tax payer money in its fight against the club.

“I think the city is responding to the very real, felt need of community standards,” Hess opined.

During a March 16th meeting, members of the American Legion’s Destin post also complained about the industrial location.

Causing all of the furor is Atlanta club owner Terry Stephenson’s decision to convert the Oasis on Mountain Drive from a pool hall with bikini clad dancers into a full strip club. After the city denied Stephenson a business license due to zoning restrictions, he filed a federal lawsuit and asked the court for an injunction against an ordinance passed by the city in January, which replaced a 1985 ban on nudity.

According to Stephenson’s attorneys, the new ordinance is legally flawed and its hearings were not well advertised. Although city attorney’s insist that all is well, slight changes have nonetheless been made to the text and manner in which hearings are advertised.

Alas for both the protesters and the free movement of soon-to-be-employed dancers, yesterday’s Council meeting resulted in a unanimously passed ordinance allowing erotic businesses, but limiting their hours of operation, banning alcohol from their premises and requiring dancers to remain at least six feet from patrons.

Land Use Attorney Scott Shirley and City Manager Greg Kisela explained apologetically that while the city might like to completely ban adult entertainment establishments, the First Amendment makes that impossible. Fortunately for those offended by the idea of female nudity, the city can make it less enjoyable for patrons and less profitable for employees.