MEADOWBROOK, IL — It wasn’t the carbohydrate police that objected to last week’s entertainment at The Palace Tavern, it was the real police.In a bold new move designed to motivate couch potatoes to action, Rhonda Cato, owner of The Palace Tavern in Meadowbrook, IL, set up the tavern’s first-ever mashed potato wrestling event.

Unfortunately for Cato, the fact that some of the female participants are rumored to have lost garments during the tests of physical strength and nimbleness qualifies not only as a violation of obscenity codes, but also liquor laws.

According to Madison County Sheriff’s Lieutenant Brad Wells, tavern guests flopped about in a shallow plastic children’s wading pool filled with mashed potatoes. Along the way, the garments of women athletes managed to find themselves mixed in among the potassium and vitamin C rich mash, as opposed to covering their owners’ bodies. This earned the tavern’s owner obscenity and liquor code charges. Additionally, she may lose her liquor license or have it suspected for up to 30 days — and be forced to pay a fine of up to $1,000.

Concerned citizens are alerted that Cato is free on $100 bond.