The internet’s most fully clothed and SFW Pornhub star, Ryan Creamer, has retired from creating the purest content on the famously impure streaming site.
On October 12, he tweeted a link to the video along with this missive: “today, 2 years to the day from when i started it, i am ending my pornhub career. these videos added so much fun to my life and i hope they did for you too. thank you all for watching 💖💖 now, i leave you the way all porn must inevitably end.” Then, he linked to his final video, “THE MONEY SHOT,” in which he hands over a $20 bill and says with a smile, “Don’t spend it all in one place!”
Creamer made a brief but widely publicized career out of turning porn tropes on their heads in adorable videos where everyone stays clothed, nobody orgasms, and viewers leave feeling more cuddly than aroused. His videos have ranged from straightforwardly wholesome content (“I Call You A Lyft Home After a Night of Snuggling”) to porn-specific inside jokes (“I Do Not Steal Lemons From Someone Else’s Lemon Tree”) to eye-rolling puns (“Two Guys Take Turns Plugging Every Hole” features Creamer and and a costar playing Connect Four) and beyond.
Over the two years he’s been making them, Creamer’s 83 videos have amassed 11.8 million views, nearly 37 thousand subscribers, and innumerable tongue-in-cheek articles about his unique videos. Attention to his work, he told LADbible, “Comes in waves so things will die down for a bit and then blow up and its always fun seeing people see it with new eyes over and over again.”
Although Creamer is retiring from his days as a Pornhub pseudo-celebrity (he’s the 3,330th-ranked model on Pornhub as of the time I’m writing this), he doesn’t have plans to remove the content. So new waves of fans are still likely to come upon (pun very much intended) his videos while scrolling for their favorite adult content.
https://twitter.com/ryguyguyry/status/1315661026420023297
That’s how Creamer got his start on Pornhub, in fact. Creamer, who’s also a podcast host and comedy writer, told LADbible, “I was on Pornhub, scrolled down and saw a thing on the masthead that said ‘Work With Us’ and the idea of working with Pornhub made me laugh.” He clicked the link, he said. “I got verified and started posting these videos simply because I thought they were funny.” In fact, he told UNILAD that his first-ever video—”I Tuck You In After You Have Cum”—was his favorite. “It was the most pure and the one I did simply because it made me laugh. I love making each one but that one I have a lot of fondness for,” he said back in February.
His content caused an immediate uproar on the internet, where his wholesome videos set amongst the raucous background of the explicit videos they parody was a singular and newsworthy anomaly. According to Creamer, the feedback he got from his viewers was “overwhelming,” but also what one might expect from folks who were largely typing one-handed, “Ranging from people DMing me saying ‘I love you daddy’ to ‘Do you want to buy some Bitcoin bitch.’”
I’ll miss Creamer’s reassuring, wholesome presence on our forays into porn scrolling, but I’ll also hold him in my…um…heart…forever.
Ryan Creamer “Money Shot” image by Ryan Creamer via Twitter
