LOS ANGELES, CA — Mötorhead’s lead vocalist is always ready for action – which explains why his less than Barbie-like appearance has been immortalized in action figure form. Alas for Lemmy Kilmister’s action figure – he won’t be getting any.By “any,” one means sex.
The problem, which has not missed the eagle-eyed attention of Lemmy, is that his action figure has no penis. No genitals of any sort at all, in fact.
Instead, the 2007 representation of the British rock star has a lovely selection of outfits and guitars. But no cock. No balls. No chance at getting lucky with the lady action figures, not that any of them have functioning doll pussies, asses or mouths, of course.
Although the plastic figurine measures a satisfying seven inches, its groin is as neutered as that of Ken or G.I. Joe, which is not how Lemmy wants the world to remember him.
During an interview with Hustler magazine, the ex-Hawkwind space rock bassist recounts how he reacted to his first full Monty view of himself as a doll.
“I said to the guy who made them, ‘Are you gonna put a dick on it?’ He said ‘No.’ I said, ‘Then it’s not going to get much action, is it? Not very life like.’ There are three different ones, two different guitars and there is a silver one, as well. I look like a fucking Oscar.”
