CHATSWORTH, Calif. – Pleasure products manufacturer Pipedream has challenged front-running Republican presidential candidate Donald “Big Penis” Trump to prove the assertion by having his penis molded for a sex toy.
When fellow Republican candidate Marco Rubio questioned the size of Trump’s endowment during a recent debate, Trump assured voters his penis is perfectly adequate: “I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee.”
Pipedream Products Chairman and Chief Executive Officer Nick Orlandino was both amused and appalled.
“I never thought we’d see this kind of nonsense on a [presidential] debate stage,” he said. “They’re really turning politics into a joke. And now that they have, Pipedream is proud to do its part.
“We’re happy to have Donald ‘Chump’ come to an actual American manufacturing plant, have his penis molded and finally put his money where his mouth is — anytime he can fit us into his busy tweeting schedule,” Orlandino added, referring to Trump’s frequent Twitter posts mocking other candidates.
Last year Pipedream produced and shipped millions of rubber dildos of varying sizes, colors and shapes. The company has molded tons of celebrities and adult performers during its 40-plus years in the industry. According to Orlandino, recent expansions allow the manufacturer to perform genital molding at all four state-of-the-art Pipedream facilities.
“We’re looking forward to Mr. Trump’s potential visit, but of course we have some concerns,” said MoldMaster Mike, Pipedream’s senior molding technician. “Assuming we are able to locate Mr. Trump’s penis, the real challenge will be for him to maintain an erection for more than a half-second. We’ll just have to see how it goes.”
Provided Trump accepts the challenge, Mike said Pipedream will donate “the massive amount of leftover rubber scrap” to Melania (Mrs. Donald) Trump’s future cosmetic surgery stockpile.
Image: Michael Vadon
