WASHINGTON, DC — When the United States Armed Forces take a break from killing and being killed they can do so safe in the knowledge that their favorite issue of Playboy, Penthouse, Nude Playmates, and Celebrity Skin will continue to be available for purchase at their nearest U.S. military base.In addition to a number of other weighty topics, a Pentagon panel this week cast its vote to allow magazines that are not “sexually explicit” to be sold on bases, something an assortment of conservative social groups were hoping would not happen.

The sale of “sexually-explicit material” has not been allowed on military bases since the 1996 Military Honour and Decency Act was passed by Congress. The Act forbids any film or publication “which depicts or describes nudity – including sexual or excretory activities or organs – in a lascivious way.”

Naturally, groups opposed to all forms or erotic expression insisted that the available publications violated this law and penned a May 4th letter of complaint, emphasizing their concern about “pornography’s destructive impact” upon the men and women serving domestically or fighting in the bloody streets of Afghanistan, Iraq, and other hotbeds of violence. The groups also expressed fears that viewing such materials might negatively affect the wives and children of service personnel once they return home from their combat duties.

Nonetheless, U.S. Undersecretary of Defense, Leslye Arsht insists that a careful review of the materials in question reveal that they did not violate the 1996 Act. “The sale of these magazines on DoD property is permissible,” the review board concluded.

Some magazines and videos are being considered for possible removal, however, and Arsht promises an “expeditious review” of those products. Hazardous duty, indeed.