CAIRNS, AUSTRALIA — The life of a single man can be lonely and difficult, but one such man found an unconventional way to find companionship. Alas for him, that companionship may come from other men serving time behind bars.The man, whose identity has kinky been protected by authorities, was so enamored of five inflatable sex dolls carried by one shop that he smashed through a wall and liberated the love devices. He was found in an alley putting them to good use.
As Vogue, the owner of the also unidentified shop explained to The Australian, “He has been taking the dolls out the back and blowing them up and using the dolls and leaving them in the alley.”
While not the most articulate of spokesmen, Vogue sums up the situation nicely by observing that “It is totally bizarre. It is a real concern that someone like that is out on the street.”
The problem, of course, is that the doll lover doesn’t remain on the street. Instead, he appears to have developed a habit of breaking into shops and procuring comely female sex toy mock-ups. During his second break-in at the shop, the heavy handed suitor developed an affection for “Jungle Jane,” who has gone missing during both of his break-ins.
The thief’s favorite method for picking up his dates is to smash through walls and then wiggle through snug holes, according to The Cairns Post. It is believed that he is responsible for a theft at the Sapphire Bar and three at the Laneway Adult Shop.
Although the tall, skinny Caucasian had what Vogue describes as a “weird” habit of cleaning up after himself, he habit has not extended to removing what can be euphemistically called DNA evidence from his crime scenes.
