MANCHESTER, England – The problem with having secrets has always been the same: If there comes a day when the secret comes to light, all the effort that went into keeping it was for naught.

Often, all the consequences, ramifications, reprisals and criticism one tries to avoid by concealing whatever it is they’re holding back come home to roost with even greater ferocity than the secret-holder imagined in the first place.

On the other hand, there’s a certain freedom that comes with exposure. Once the secret has been revealed, the stress of keeping it dissipates. Whatever is to come then will come; there’s no sense in fearing disclosure of a fact already in the record, after all.

Of course, if you happen to be a university professor whose (not-so-well-hidden) secret is you’re also a porn performer, the big reveal likely means the end of your tenure.

In the case of Nicholas Goddard, AKA “Old Nick,” the clandestine porn star resigned from his position at the University of Manchester rather than wait for the axe to fall. Now that Goddard has made a return to porn (for one video, at least), some of his tormentors in the British tabloid press are acting as though he’s rescinded a promise – but it’s a promise Goddard never made, and to which he has no obligation to adhere.

“A PORN star university professor who vowed to quit his double life is at it again — in a new X-rated romp based on The Sun’s exposé of him,” states the sub-headline of a new The Sun item that seeks to dish up a second plate of porn-shame for the ex-professor.

Here’s the thing, though: If he’s no longer teaching and no longer hiding his porn performing from anyone, then Goddard has quit his “double life.” So, what the fuck is The Sun banging on about?

The answer, of course, is the new video featuring Goddard gives the tabloid an excuse to stick the word porn (in ALL CAPS, naturally) into another headline, as though it needs such an excuse.

Through this new video, Goddard takes the lemons handed to him by his initial outing and makes them into porn-lemonade (which is just like regular lemonade, only with more semen).

The scene evidently depicts two young women in a park who recognize a dog-walking Goddard as the smutty professor referenced in stories published online about his outing as a porn performer. After signing his autograph to their stomachs, he is then lead off by the youngsters to join them in a rollicking three-way.

In other words, it’s an utterly conventional porn-scene setup, other than the use of real news reporting and imagery. Of course, in context, it’s also the perfect response to the negative consequences of Goddard’s outing last year — a means of embracing all the bad publicity and turning it to good use.

Part of me hopes The Sun is in on the whole thing, and the attention they’re giving this new video is part of a coordinated campaign. I’m not suggesting the coverage is compensation of some kind for breaking the news that cost Goddard his job in the first place, but more of a wink and nod to the social resilience of a guy everybody probably thought would just disappear, never to be heard from (let alone seen in porn) again.

More likely, someone associated with the creation and/or distribution of the new video tipped off the tabloid, knowing The Sun wouldn’t be able to resist throwing several more column inches of shade at Old Nick.

Either way, I’m glad to see Nick is up to his old tricks again. It’s a damn shame he can’t teach chemistry at the same time he tries to create a bit of it on the small, smutty screen, but it’s not surprising the two careers are incompatible. It’s even less surprising, here in the age of social media, they can’t remain separated by a thin, easily penetrated veil of secrecy.

Welcome back, Old Nick. Here’s hoping you find living just one half of your former double life satisfying, because while it’s possible to make porn without seeking permission from anyone to do so, the world of academia is far less forgiving than the internet porn sector.

Or is it?

Image via BeautyAndTheSenior.com.