YNOT – Let’s begin with some happy news for once: New York Congressman Chris Lee, whose political career hit a teeny-tiny snag when he posed shirtless in a Craigslist personal ad, has rebounded nicely after a celebrated New York ad agency signed him to a modelling contract. While it would be callous to laugh at Lee’s new career as a ‘before’ model, we applaud his bravery in showing pathetic, middle-age men everywhere the truth in Oscar Wilde’s famous quote: “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.”
Meanwhile, just to hit below the Bible belt, the rather steamy, and aptly named, Ignite Church in Joplin, Mo., has raised more than a few eyebrows — and more than just eyebrows — with its innovative campaign to help nice, Christian couples avoid adultery and pornography … by having more sex.
“We’re doing a series about sex and God’s intended purpose for it,” Pastor Heath Mooneyham told ABC News. Responding to criticism about his “How Would Jesus Do It?” style of preaching, Mooneyham added, “God created [sex], and he’s not freaked out by it. So I don’t see why we should be.”
On the other side of the world, some folks tried to pour cold water on heated political issues by encouraging political spouses to “just say no” to sex … until, that is, a new government is formed.
“I call on the spouses of all negotiators to have no more sex until the new administration is posing on the steps of the Palace,” Belgian Socialist Senator Marleen Temmerman told Orange News.
Temmerman, also a gynecologist, did not specify what pose the new government should take … especially after not getting any for a while.
Being in the media ourselves, we at YNOT are very much aware of the need to attract an audience; however, we think a recent headline in the UK’s Register may have been a bit too sensational: “Knife-wielding cock shock.” Aside from the unconscionable confusion about exactly who — or what — wielded the knife, we find it an egregious misuse of the Fifth Estate to remind otherwise well-behaved readers of the notorious Bobbitt affair. We are not amused … and, more than likely, neither is José Luis Ochoa, who was injured during an illegal bird fight in his native Lamont, Calif.
In the interest of positive journalistic dialogue, we humbly suggest a better title for the aforementioned article: “Dick head cut down my cock.”
El Reg did a better job with a report that is sure to take the wind out of the sails of the otherwise high-stamina yogurt trade: A female customer reported receiving a perhaps familiar but completely unrequested topping on the Greek yogurt she ordered at Albuquerque’s Sunflower Farmers Market Store. Fortunately, law enforcement officials had enough time on their hands to run a DNA test and were able to match the addition to a certain Anthony Garcia, who worked at the store.
“We have never dealt with a case like this in all the years I’ve been in law enforcement,” Albuquerque police spokeswoman Trish Hoffman said.
Meanwhile, in the U.S. South, Ala.-based Pleasures, which gained fame as the first drive-through sex shop, has started a new promotion that offers sex toys in exchange for guns. While the caliber of the marketing is dubious, owner Sherri Williams certainly is a-rousing interest.
“My contribution is to making love, not war, here in Alabama, where guns are legal and adult toys are not,” she told the Huntsville Times.
Even farther south, the Minerva brewery of Jalisco, Mexico, has expanded its market share by producing Salamandra and Purple Hand ales. The beverages target a demographic woefully ignored by other distillers.
“We’ve received a lot of criticism about whether we were excluding heterosexuals, and yes, it is a product directed exclusively to the LGBT community,” Dario Rodriguez Wyler of Minerva told Oddity Central.
Coors has remained mum about how Minerva’s new gay brews may affect the popularity of Coors’ traditional gay beverage, Zima.
In a related story, and one that may make beer drinkers hiccup with excitement, OkCupid reported beer drinkers are more likely than those who don’t drink beer to have sex on the first date. What kind of sex, especially after imbibing a few tall Salamander or Purple Hand ales, has yet to be researched with any authority.
M.Christian is a YNOT.com contributing editor and an author of literary erotica that blends the spectrum of sexual preferences and desires with horror and science fiction. Got weird sex news you want to share? Email him.
