By M.Christian
YNOT – Even though the traditional waves of heat — even hotter than usual, thank you global warming — may have started to be replaced by the (yawn) more temperate temperatures of fall, good old human beings have kept their own degrees higher than usual this summer through a wilder-than-usual bunch of erotic antics.
It should come as no surprise, but we still must remark about the case of Indiana State Rep. Phillip Hinkle who, as reported by the site Truth Wins Out, “is embroiled in controversy after The Indianapolis Star discovered emails appearing to solicit the paid company of a young man, sent from Hinkle’s publicly listed email address.”
Hinkle, a Republican, voted against gay marriage; nevertheless, he appears to have no problem with gay honeymoons: “Hinkle emailed the man, named Kameryn Gibson, and offered him $80 cash, with a tip of $50 or $60 ‘for a really good time’ in the hours he proposed spending together at a local Marriott,” Truth Wins Out reported.
Of course, Hinkle’s alleged transgression wouldn’t even have hit the radar save for one detail: Gibson told Truth Wins Out that he tried to leave the rendezvous when Hinkle revealed he was a state politician. Bravo for Gibson for calling “safe word!” All of you who are playing Republican hypocrite bingo be sure and mark off Indiana on your game boards.
There’s irony, and then there’s irony. Joshua Seto, apparently devoted fan of action flicks, probably intended to make some macho statement when he jammed a loaded gun in the waistband of his pants. After all, how many times have we watched an action hero finish firing his weapon and then ram it down the front of his britches?
Seto did not take into account that those are prop pistols … which may be why, in a feat of true marksmanship, Seto managed to shoot himself “through his penis and scrotum.”
The investigating officers may still be laughing about the kicker, though: The pistol with which Seto shot himself was no ordinary hardcore macho piece. Instead, Seto was packing “a pink, 380-caliber, special edition breast-cancer awareness gun.”
“Meanwhile, police are warning armed residents to use holsters, not waistbands,” according to the report at WarmingGlow.com.
There’s still more evidence we’re all going to hell in a handbasket. The most recent indicators of the coming apocalypse involve two more wardrobe malfunctions (yawn). In the first, Nicki Minaj (no, we don’t know who she is either) slipped a nip on Good Morning America, resulting in 40 heart attacks and 80,000 erections among the show’s 80-plus-year-old audience. In the second, Kelly Rowland aired both of her lollipops during a live performance.
The real fun about all this booby exposure is that most people younger than 80 have responded with either “Who cares?” or “Meh. I’ve seen better.”
We hear Janet Jackson is contemplating a bare-ass-naked comeback tour to recapture her former glory.
Speaking of wardrobes…. A Lutheran college men’s golf team very nearly eclipsed the lovely ladies in the malfunction department.
According to published reports, “The Bethany College men’s golf team … posed in the buff for an unofficial team photo, with just golf clubs covering their man parts.”
Alas, the playful fit of youthful hijinks didn’t agree with their coach: “Jon Daniels suspended every player on the Fighting Swedes for three tournaments because of the photo he called, “a case of young people who just don’t think beyond the moment and don’t realize who they’re hurting.’”
Which raises the question about who, exactly, was hurt by the stunt? We’d like to ask Coach Daniels to step up to the tee and put his own putter to the test to prove he can measure up to his players.
M.Christian is a YNOT.com contributing editor and an author of literary erotica that blends the spectrum of sexual preferences and desires with horror and science fiction. Got weird sex news you want to share? Email him.
