READING, OH — It’s a slow day and a lucky city when the most threatening activities one must deal with are posed by a busty mannequin that can neither move nor speak — yet that’s precisely what has some of the morally sensitive members of one Cincinnati area suburb up in arms.At issue is the lusty, busty figure of a mannequin who has stood silently outside of Kenny Tessel’s barbecue restaurant.

According to the Associated Press, Tessel and the mannequin made appearances before Reading, OH zoning officials on Wednesday in an attempt to defend the mannequin from those who consider her to be a slut whose presence is an assault on their family values and quality of life.

Although she normally meets the world wearing a bikini top and short shorts, for her day in front of the officials the 5’ 10” mannequin was clad in a ball cap, gray tank top and whatever was short enough to fit underneath it.

Tessel contends that the motionless and emotionless doll’s beckoning presence has boosted his business by a much-needed 40-percent.

Benevolent to a fault, the zoning officers agreed to allow Tessel’s mannequin to continue to greet the public – but only if she dresses more modestly.

Tessel plans to appeal.