BURKE, WI — Love can make a man do crazy things. Irrational, sometimes even illegal things. That’s certainly what happened to 26-year-old Jose Sandoval, whose love that dare not speak its name is powerfully directed toward women of the more inflatable kind. Or perhaps it’s not so much love as lust that drove Sandoval to liberate a number of blow-up dolls from their retail prison.

Whichever it was, now unable to deny that his girlfriends are airheads, as well as stolen property, the embarrassed young man has declared the entire enterprise to have been a “drunken, stupid thing.”

Nobody’s arguing with him.

So enflamed with passion was Sandoval, or so a Dane County criminal complaint explains, that he smashed down the front door of the Burke, WI Naughty Novelties shop in order to gain access to the objects of his desire. Once inside, the excited doll devotee selected an assortment of sweethearts, lotions, sexy underwear, and toys, including a $270 talking Linn Thomas love doll.

Alas for the lonely hearted and horny Sandoval, surveillance cameras captured not only his act of forced entry, but also his distinctively damaged vehicle, on tape, making it easy to identify him during a traffic stop 10 days later.

Although the sensitive soul initially denied having ever had anything to do with the forcibly removed sex dolls, his resolve quickly evaporated, ending in a tearful confession and peaceful return of the captive cuties that, along with a variety of other fun treats, had been stashed in an abandoned semi near a marshy area behind the Truckers Inn motel, not far from the novelty store.

The Wisconsin State Journal assures those with well-moneyed blow up dolls that Sandoval has been charged with burglary, but did not come anywhere near the establishment’s cash register or safe.

Clearly, it was love and not greed that fueled this crime of twisted passion.