JACKSON, MS — The citizens of Jackson, MS probably didn’t even realize that their moral health and safety was once again at risk, but a brave reporter from WLBT 3 not only made sure they knew – but helped avert disaster by going “undercover” at the Adult Video and Books store. Busted by the local authorities a mere three months previous for illegally selling sex toys, the television station had received what it calls a “tip” that the shop was not merely back in business – but back in the business of illegal goods. Namely, sex toys.

Thanks to the sharp thinking of an unnamed reporter, whose commercial transaction was captured on tape, the $21.35 purchase of a purple unmentionable resulted in a confrontation between the crime-sniffing media team and the business’ owner.

Kandiss Crone of WLBT quotes herself as presenting her illegal purchase to the owner of Adult Video and Books, who is only identified as “Charles.” While he indicates confusion concerning the goods in question, she chides him for the sale, citing “Section 97 of the Mississippi state law” as prohibiting “the sale of such three-dimensional devices” as the one she had purchased mere moments before.

When “Charles” insists that the device is “not a sex toy,” Crone shows how worldy wise she is by answering her own question with “What would you call this, then? It’s a personal vibrator.”

The shop owner then explains to Crone that the device “can be put on your arm, your neck, your leg if it’s hurting or anything; it’s just a vibrator.”

Nonetheless, Crone observes that sales of the product is a misdemeanor that can result in up to six months in jail and as much as $5,000 in fines.

Apparently less impressed than Crone by the potential harm that the vibrator might do to citizens, Jackson Police Department Assistant Chief Lee Vance informed the press and public that “The adult store is not a priority for our vice and narcotics officers. We will do the best we can. Citizens would rather see us using our resources to get drugs and prostitutes off our streets and work to decrease violent crime.”

Priorities, priorities, priorities…