RENO, NV —Even while cooling his expensive heels in a Nevada prison, Girls Gone Wild softcore smut meister Joe Francis is thinking of ways to bring nefarious fame and fortune to even respectable mainstream actresses. His latest bright idea is to offer $500,000 to Disney’s High School Musical cutie, Vanessa Hudgens if she’ll just go wild for his cameras.Recently embarrassed by home photos apparently taken by a lover, the popular performer’s humiliation wouldn’t be complete without an offer to jump on the Girls Gone Wild bus as its traveling hostess in order to hammer an enormous nail into her career’s otherwise distant coffin.
According to Francis, Hudgens the 18-year-old beauty “is the classic girl next door gone wild,” adding in her defense that, “being sexual is not a crime.”
Indeed, Hudgens is such a “classic girl next door” that she’s only posed for a boyfriend, one of whom apparently can’t be trusted not to leak the images onto the internet. Whether that young man is current beau and High School Musical co-star Zac Efron, or former sweetie, Drake Bell, is uncertain – but if a presumably monogamous girl only has to be photographed naked or nearly naked in her own bedroom by her own boyfriend in order to have “gone wild,” then Francis is in bigger trouble than he’s let on.
Nonetheless, a statement issued from his luxurious government supplied accommodations begs the beautiful brunette to “join the GGW brand and lifestyle.”
While Francis insists that Hudgens’ poor judgment in photo snapping boyfriends shouldn’t be a big deal, he also seems to think it will kill her thus far thriving film career – or perhaps he has an even more bloated perception of the artistic value of the Girls Gone Wild empire than has been previously suggested. Whichever proves to be the case, he wisely opines that “She took a picture, it was leaked, and now it is time to move forward with her career…” all of which is certainly true. Proposing that an appearance in a Girls Gone Wild video and commercial will be positive professional step forward for Hudgens, however, seems self-servingly optimistic in the extreme.
Fortunately – or unfortunately – for Hudgens, Disney has decided to stand behind its star, thus saving her from feeling compelled to make a decision, although she still has the legal right to show the world that, as Francis puts it, “There’s a little Girls Gone Wild in every woman.”
Whether new photos, showing Hudgens touching another woman’s breast and tongue kissing with her will affect the actress’ eventual decision is yet to be determined.
