FULLERTON, CA — Jenna Jameson may be trying to break into the world of mainstream film – sorta — by portraying a zombie stripper, but what the world remembers best about the petite ex-porn superstar is not her tasty brains – but the parts of her anatomy that reside between her collarbone and her upper thighs. A portion of that anatomy made an unauthorized trip home from a Fullerton, CA adult shop recently, thanks to an impatient and presumably horny thief.The early bird burglar, frustrated by an uncooperative cash register drawer, decided that if he couldn’t have the money, he could still have the money maker.
Thanks to video surveillance cameras inside of The Erogenous Zone, the 4:00am Tax Day rock throwing robber was captured forever on video tape – much like the object of his secondary desire.
Frustration was the name of the game for the as-yet-unidentified no-goodnik, whose first rock heave failed to shatter the building’s front glass door. A second toss didn’t fare much better. Fortunately for the weenie armed perp, marching directly in front of the display window and shucking the rock a third time did the trick.
Unfortunately for the noodle armed larcenist, the shop’s cash register was even less interested in him than the shop’s windows had been.
Upon realizing that he’d managed to break into a sex shop without earning a dime, surveillance cameras captured the exasperated crook frantically looking around the shop for something to take home as a prize – and settling on a $250 Jenna Jameson Ultra Realistic toy; perfect for the bungling burglar with a taste for breaking and entering.
Anyone who knows the whereabouts of Jenna Jameson’s stolen personal parts or how they came to leave the safety of The Erogenous Zone is encouraged to contact the Fullerton Police Department at 714-738-6800.
