I was an awkward kid. Growing up I didn’t have many friends. The few kids I knew were like me. Introverted, nerdy and un-popular. None of them were girls. Even from an early age, girls scared the shit out of me. They seemed equally mean and mysterious.

I was an only child. Interested in playing computer games, reading sci-fi and studying our galaxy. My mother always claimed I was handsome, but as far as I knew, she was the only one who held that opinion.

In my mid-twenties I had finished college and through a minor miracle landed a really good job. The kind of job that comes with a car, an apartment and a sign-on bonus. I was on my way to become the catch my mom always claimed I was.

However, as good as things may have looked from the outside, I was troubled on the inside. During that first week in my stylish new apartment I spent a lot of time pondering a question I’m sure a lot of men are far too familiar with.

How will I get laid?

At that time, I was still a virgin and this haunted me.

No tragedy seemed greater than my untouched body.

However, with the transformation of everything external in my life I slowly started to realize that I too could become a completely different person. I could become desirable.

I didn’t always need to be the nerdy shy kid. The town I had moved to was new and big, full of opportunities for whoever was brave enough to catch them. Everyone who met me would assume I was successful, not only in my career, but also in other areas of life. I could keep the good parts of my adolescent self, my passion and my ability to work hard. The rest, all the shy awkward parts, should be able to transform.

I was already halfway there. During the first week in my new place I had started going to the gym. And a certain spur of the moment decision (influenced by all the amazing looking girls lining up outside of the yoga studio), had made me sign up to a yoga class. The way I carried myself had improved a lot. The only thing I would have to achieve was to become more comfortable around women.

Seduction

Everyone wants to be seduced. By art, by music, by someone more charming than themselves. Women long to be seduced. Most men have no idea of how to do it.

Here I saw a possibility for a clear goal for my transformation. If I was brave enough, I could transform myself to a seducer. I had nothing to lose.

Over the next year I read everything about seduction. And most importantly, the crucial step that is so hard to achieve, so ever elusive. I practiced. You can spend all those lonely nights studying how to become more charming. But the only way to master the art of seduction is to practice.

The beginning was painful. I told jokes no one laughed at. People seemed to evaporate whenever I opened my mouth. Beautiful women turned their back towards me and went back to their friends with their eyebrows raised in a ‘as if that would ever happen’ frown of contempt.

Despite this I didn’t give up. If my early youths interest in our galaxy had taught me anything, it had taught me that from a certain perspective everything could be regarded as insignificant. Including all my failures. Even a week afterwards, they would be forgotten in the myriad of social interactions in the big city.

My stories slowly became more and more interesting. I continued to try and talk with everyone and with beautiful women in particular. First my approach was that of an unthreatening geek. Someone who gave her attention until she moved on to the true alpha male.

Later, when I became used to the presence of a beautiful woman, as a contender for their time, and sometimes even for their infatuation. I got the first flirty messages to my phone and soon I was going on dates.

I practiced the art of getting women to see me as a sexual being. As someone being attracted to them, and eventually sparking attraction in them. Slowly I started getting results. No miracle, I can assure you.

As a result of all my studying and practicing I finally got laid. The first time things didn’t go so well and it was mainly my fault. I was inexperienced and nervous. All that confident and seducing nature I had worked up melted away in the sensitive situation of being naked and alone with a woman. I retreated to my old awkward self. I was no superhero in the bedroom.

But I took my yearning-for-learning approach and decided to study the subject. Time for the next step in my self-imposed education.

Better Sex

Once I had my dating life under control it was time to turn my focus to a nearby subject. Mastery in the bedroom. This is a quality many men often overlook, but a quality that will give you the most amazing experiences. It’s one thing to get laid. Its quite another to be the best man she ever had. And to have women telling you that they never before had sex that good. This type of things just goes straight to your male ego, and that geek you once used to be, he looks at you totally impressed.

What’s the secret to becoming a great lover?

Confidence. To be truly relaxed about yourself you allow the women to truly be relaxed about herself. You have to combine this with a strong masculine presence and a lot of skills.

No worries if you are not there yet. Sexual skills are, according to my experience, easier to learn then seduction skills. Here are some good resources to start with: how to last longer in bed & how to get better in bed for guys.

When you are in bed with a woman you already know that she trusts you and that she wants to be with you. All you have to do is lead and listen. One thing you have to realize is that women love sex as much as men do. If you accept this truth you will become braver and more adventurous, than most men,you can learn more at https://www.thepleasurekeys.com.

A True Connection

As times moved on I had plenty of women who wanted to date me. And I had plenty of experiences of mind-blowing sex. Both areas felt great and as humans we always strive towards more. But I also started to feel as I had plenty of ego.

With every passing date I got the suspicion that my confidence had grown too big. I was turning into a jerk. And I didn’t value the women that came into my life.
I had learned so many techniques. My ability to absorb new information had always served me well. But in the process, I had lost a bit of myself. I felt that I was desired, but I didn’t feel a true connection with the different women I was dating.

To truly connect with someone, it’s not enough to charm them, to seduce them. I was looking for something deeper.

The pick-up lifestyle had definitely had its perks. I had met cool people and seduced amazing women. Hell, I was a virgin before I started. I had also learned a ton about social interaction and how human works.

But to treat women like objects and calling them targets, didn’t allow for the type of connection I wanted.

I also began to realize that pick-up was just another form of insecurity. Seducing women to make ourselves feel stronger and braver was a way of dealing with a fear of not being good enough. Treating sex as and end game rather than looking for a true connection. We were still seeking approval, but I wanted to become confident all the way through.

The Dream Girl

The first time I saw her was at a friend’s birthday party. I knew I had game. One could even call me popular. But a woman like her, that would be a different story.

From a mutual friend I found out that she ran her own PR-company and that she was in fact single. I did my approach. As they say: don’t wait until you get scared, just dive in.

It was as if all my training came down to that moment. All those articles and podcasts.

The PUA-community would say I was about to make a mistake. They have a name for this kind of situation. You shouldn’t get a hang up on a single girl. But they had been wrong. Life is not about getting laid. Life is about pursuing your dreams, and mine stood five meters away.

I went over and introduced myself. She nodded. She smiled. Even more beautiful up close. That was all the excitement I could take. I moved on to the next introduction.

Later in the evening I saw her again, with calmer nerves this time around I engaged her in a conversation. It turned out she was passionate about yoga so I invited her to my yoga class. We became friends and eventually lovers.

I like to think there is a lesson there. You never know what to find, what to expect. Everything you do, prepare you for that special person, that special situation.

Photo of couple on beach by Asad Photo Maldives from Pexels