BERLIN — Some might call the professional love merchant a helluva woman possession a passionate and full-bodied enthusiasm for her work. Others choose to call her a “one woman demolition job.”Her government identification calls her Ilnes Lorbach.
Lorbach might have evaded public attention were it not for the fact that the 252-pound prostitute really brings down the house when she entertains her clients.
Tenants of the apartment building where Lorbach lives and legally pursues her chosen career don’t necessarily mind that she works from home, but they aren’t crazy about the way she conducts her business when she does so.
Specifically, they take issue with the fact the sex worker’s business hours tend to result in the walls shaking. One neighbor claims to have lost a pair of valuable crystal Baccarat glasses due to a fall from a shelf that resulted from all the rocking and rolling.
That’s what the British tabloid The Sun reports complaints made to the Administration Court in Berlin say, anyway.
In fact, the paper quotes next-door-neighbor Carolso Hoffman as opining that “I don’t know if the earth moved for her clients, but it did for us.”
Hoffman went on to observe that “When you have a 100-plus kilo woman grappling like a wildebeest with her clients, then you know about it; you really do. She’s a one-woman demolition job.”
Lorbach, on the other hand, presented herself to the court as “a mother and as a working woman” who does her best to be “as discreet as possible.”
Judgment on the case has, perhaps wisely, been set aside for “a later date.”
