THE WORLD — From Budweiser beer to Wheaties cereal, all manner of products that have nothing at all to do with athletic endeavors have cashed in on the branding opportunities presented by major sporting events.From the controversial, like alcoholic beverage companies sponsoring car racing events, to the simply incongruous, like having an official “candy sponsor” for the Olympics, athlete endorsements and corporate sponsorship of sporting events is now a well-established business phenomenon. Is it any surprise that adult companies are also looking to get into the sports-crossover branding act?

The World Cup has yielded several examples of sex-to-sports crossover marketing, including the “Dolly Dolphin Football Edition” vibrator, which MSNBC reports is selling at German sex shops, complete with X’s and O’s for opposing players and lines that represent player movement on the pitch.

Adult videos with World Cup themes are available in European shops, as well, with titles like Dream Team Italia and Shoot For The Goal. The only real difference between these titles and any other adult title is the presence of appropriately-colored team jerseys and the occasional soccer ball (although I’ve heard some of the performers are highly skilled at “headers”…..)

Other examples of World Cup novelties include the “World Cup Victory Vibe,” a small bullet-shaped vibrator adorned with the Cross of St. George, edible candy uniforms – complete with official team décor – and penis-shaped whistles.

One product that seemed destined for great sales never got off the ground, however. Some weeks ago a chain of German sex shops, Beate Uhse, introduced a line of sex toys that included the “David B,” “Ollie K,” and “Michael B” dildos.

To fans of the game, it might have appeared that English football stars David Beckham, Oliver Khan, and Michael Ballack had endorsed the toy line. Such wasn’t the case, and Beate Uhse dropped the use of the names with their products, following threats of a lawsuit.

The language of American sports, with its repeated references to “penetration,” “taking it to the hole,” players “getting off,” quarterback “sacks,” and even the occasional “reach-around” pass, seems ripe for cross-promotion with the sex industry. Thus far, however, sex-to-sports crossover marketing has been limited to the occasional NASCAR sponsorship and the rather unfortunate pairing of porn and professional wrestling.

Perhaps US-based adult companies will take a cue from their European counterparts, though, and market sex toys and other novelties with a theme more familiar to stateside sports fans?

Imagine, for example, how well a dildo would sell with a slogan like “A Shaq-Attack for Your Crack,” or a Dwyane Wade-endorsed device simple called “The Penetrator.”

For the baseball-minded, maybe the MLB could introduce Barry Bondage gear or a Bonds-endorsed sexual-performance-enhancing dietary supplement? They could even draft Pete Rose to appear in the ads, saying “Will these products enhance your sex life? You can BET on it!”

Can’t you just see it? From the “Dennis Rodman Man-Rod” to the “Clyde Drexler’s Drexler’s Glide”, this stuff definitely writes itself – maybe it would sell itself, too?