CYBERSPACE — Every celebrity has his or her detractors as well as fans and the President of the United States – now and at any other point throughout history – is no different. But with billions of dollars being freshly authorized to continue the enormously bloody and controversial wars in Iraq and Afghanistan while ominous drums beat in the direction of Iran, some think that the current president has his head up his ass.Thanks to the creative work of at least two sex toy makers, those people can have the president’s head up their own asses, as well.

Both TerrorSuspect.com and CelebrityButtPlugs.com offer the geo-political world a synthetic George W. Bush ass invasion option – but the two merchants do not see their common interest as unifying so much as dividing them, given that each claims to have been the originator of the idea.

According to the UK Register, the maker of the George W. Tush butt plug has vowed to “kick the ass” of rival TerrorSuspect’s Bushplug in court, because the world already has “enough competition in the anal effigy market from Dubya himself.”

For its money, TerrorSuspect insiststhat it’s possible there “may not be room in this world for The Bushplug and George W. Tush!” and suggests that it might be time to consult a copyright attorney. “I never expected to need to hire a lawyer to defend The Bushplug!” the designed admits on the site, “I mean, I know that the real George W. doesn’t flinch at breaking the law or stealing things that aren’t his (like oil and the bill of rights), but I never thought I would need to defend the Bushplug against imitators!”

Thus, as the world erupts further into war, the self-described “bitter and hateful man” who founded CelebrityButtPlugs may have to watch his legal ass in spite of his desire to create “a line of anal effigies with the sole purpose of bringing pleasure to those downtrodden souls who were unable to go on anti-semitic tirades, partake in drunken sex orgies or destabilize Mideast nations themselves.”

As the father of the Bushplug sees it, “There are only so many assholes available.”

Amen.