Shit happens, and not just during anal scenes when the girl announces, “Oops, clean-up needed on aisle four!” In this “shit happens” case, instead of a Production Assistant (PA) swooping in with baby wipes and paper towels, three of San Diego’s “finest” swooped down on us during a sex scene filming in a secluded rural area of a city park.Shit happens, and not just during anal scenes when the girl announces, “Oops, clean-up needed on aisle four!” In this “shit happens” case, instead of a Production Assistant (PA) swooping in with baby wipes and paper towels, three of San Diego’s “finest” swooped down on us during a sex scene filming in a secluded rural area of a city park. When the police sergeant jumped out of the bushes, my first comment was, “Officer, you’re surrounded – by poison oak!” And indeed, he was!

Just before the shit happened, local starlet Holli Miles had done fellatio on me, and we were preparing for a stand-up doggie position before we were rudely interrupted. (Holli is an all-American, girl-next-door type – see her photos under the link to “Index of Girls” in the free Guest’s Area of my “No Pop-Ups” www.davecummings.com site. She also can be seen doing hardcore on the back of a number of the box covers under the link to “Filmography” on the site.) After calling for his two partners to assist with the “investigation,” wherein we were photographed, questioned, and had our belongings searched, the police sergeant used my video camera to view the footage we had filmed prior to his stroll through the poison oak.

Later, as the sergeant searched my SUV in my presence, I requested that I solely be held responsible since I was the producer and director of the filming, and that the cameraman and actress were merely contracted by me. When all was said and done, the cops seemed appreciative of our truthfulness and cooperation, but confiscated my video film and a roll of stills as “evidence,” but, they let us go without even issuing me/us a ticket, citation, or anything.

The sergeant advised me that I’d be notified by mail in a week or two about what action would be forthcoming. Needless to say, the next few weeks seemed to drag by. A week or two later as I was filming the exterior of a bagel shop that I later used as part of a set-up in “Sex Fun 9,” a cop parked his car and asked me what I was doing. As I was truthfully telling him my intent, he smiled and said that he recognized me, and that photos of a porn girl and me were shown at a recent briefing at the area police station. He suggested that I not use that park again, smiled, and wished me a good day as he was driving off while I continued with my set-up filming.

Bottom line, when I didn’t hear anything for over two months, I called the police station and was referred to their Evidence Room Custodian, who gave me a Case Number and the telephone number to The City Attorney. I called the number I was given to inquire about the matter and to see about retrieving my property, which was taken as “evidence” in the case. The City Attorney clerk told me the case was still open and pending. Months dragged by as I debated with myself whether to nag the City Attorney’s office, or to just let things happen if/how they might; my main concern was to NOT stir the pot and indirectly cause problems that might negatively impact both myself and, more importantly, Holli and my cameraman.

Eighteen months later, I called the City Attorney’s office and was told that their computer showed a City Attorney Case Number, a Citation Number (interestingly, no citation was ever provided to me) and a “No Issue” determination; the clerk also advised me that a letter should have been sent to me a long time ago. I told her that no such letter had arrived, and I requested that a copy of their file copy be sent to me so that I could use it to retrieve my footage and photos.

On Jan 26, 2004, almost nineteen months from the date of the “shit happens” incident, I received a formal letter from the City Attorney’s office (NOT a copy of “the” letter, but rather an original letter dated a week after I requested the copy) saying “People v. (my legal name), City Attorney Case #WL99” and a short paragraph citing the citation # (the one never issued to me), the violation date, and Sections paragraph, and the following: “No complaint was prepared for the above-referenced case. The statute of limitations expired on Jun 26, 2003.”

I next called the Custodian of the Police Evidence Room to arrange to bring him a copy of the letter so that I could (finally) get my property back, only to be told that the official records indicated that the City Attorney’s Office had signed for and reviewed the evidence and had returned it, and that on the June 27th expiration of the applicable statute of limitations, the property was formally destroyed and discarded. YUK! Shit happens, damn it! It’s a shame, because the set-ups (I did two separate set-ups that day, because I normally do two back-to-back scenes when I film for my “Sugardaddy” or “Sex Fun” series) were well-done.

After the shit happened wherein the police romped through the poison oak and halted that filming almost twenty months ago, we had adjourned to my condo and filmed the sex scene now in “Sex Fun 9”. In that volume’s introduction, I acknowledged the police “shit happens” incident that altered the opening scene. A few weeks later, Holli and I filmed two additional scenes, with the expectation of using the set-ups the police confiscated – but now I can’t. Shit happened!

Interestingly, Holli told me a few months ago that her friend knows a cop who told her that our footage had at one time been shown at his police station. No, I’m not going to complain to city officials about the inefficiencies of the follow-on to the (not-issued) citation incident; I’ve got a Master’s Degree in Public Administration and understand how government entities sometimes work. I also realize that sometimes it’s best to not cause reason for future problems, so I’m gonna quietly go away. But, I did want to relate how this “shit happened” to me.

While jotting this all down, I’ve wondered to myself how this might have turned out if John Ashcroft had been the San Diego City Attorney!

Now, shit happens! And, it could get worse if the upcoming elections are determined by citizens not registering and casting informed votes. Let’s not let 1,751 votes (or whatever the final number was), like the ones that made the difference in Florida in 2000, end up causing a lot of shit to happen between now and 2008.

Stay safe, be happy, enjoy the freedoms guaranteed by the United States Constitution, and become active and informed voters and citizens.

Shit happens, but I hope it doesn’t inappropriately happen to you!

Dave Cummings is a porn star, producer and director. He can be reached at dave@davecummings.com.