By Dave Cummings
YNOT – Sex!
There. I wrote the most important word expected in a monthly column written by a porn star. Now I feel free to go into a rambling bunch of unrelated stuff.
The continuing piracy problem is such that there’s not much inside-the-industry sex to write about. Nevertheless, folks still contact me via email, in person or via my DaveCummingsInfo.com site with questions about masturbation or swinging or porn or other areas that interest them. Men, women and couples ask personal questions and reveal a lot about their personal sex lives in conversations. (There’s that word again: sex.)
One of my younger brothers is a psychologist, so he knows how to help people with their issues. I’m just a porn star, so I do a lot of listening and nodding as I try to channel my “clients” into telling themselves the answer they knew applied all along. They talk to me because they want to hear the answer from someone “official” — validation from an old fogey with lots of sexual experience and some worldly exposure. I enjoy counseling people and getting them to think about things they otherwise might not consider.
Many guys seem like they need to pat themselves on the back by telling me about their latest conquests, while others are worried about the sex part of their love lives or their “alone” sex life. It’s tough when they interrupt me while eating in a restaurant and my food gets cold, or at a place like a brewery where I am with friends or relatives. Yes, some guys voluntarily suggest that I subsequently join them and their lady for a threesome, so I shouldn’t complain about my breakfast eggs getting cold when I’m recognized and asked questions. Being a gentlemanly porn star has some innate benefits with couples, especially swingers or couples turned on by their fantasies.
Women seem to want validation from me that their view of sex is normal and that their looks are still such that they can get a porn star sexually turned on. I try not to hurt feelings, but I also need to be objective and honest with them. Some women want to show me their bodies and get my opinion about their looks and sex skills. Admittedly, these are not usually 10s but rather divorcees and MILFs or cougars.
Couples often want to know if I think they would be popular at swinger parties; others want to know more about swinging etiquette and rules and how things happen at parties. I’ve been in swinging for 27 years and can usually anticipate their questions and follow-on questions to my answers, and their desire to chat and listen to my thoughts about jealousy, communication and the difference between having sex and making love.
I sense that I do a lot of good for people with my knowledge and experience. It’s nice to see folks enjoying sex, not dodging it because of concerns about how others might think of them. I never use my sex “consulting” or conversations to initiate sex (Nice word, huh?), but I certainly am making up for the piracy dampening of sex at porn shoots. By not being pushy, a lot of sex seems to come my way.
More and more, I see people accepting and enjoying sex as a natural and normal part of life. Single woman and couples are venturing more and more into the world of sex. They seem like they no longer will be held back by anyone’s opinion. I wholeheartedly applaud them and respect them.
This week I am in Las Vegas for the annual AVN Adult Entertainment Expo; I’ll brief you about it in next month’s column. I expect I might see the ill effects of piracy clashing with individual thirst to be free of opinions against sex.
Dave Cummings, “the world’s oldest porn star,” is a performer, producer, director and member of the AVN Hall of Fame. Visit him online at DaveCummings.com, DaveCummings.tv or DaveCummingsVOD.com or call and chat with him live at DaveCummingsInfo.com.
