YNOT – I’m writing this on the day following my 70th birthday, a day not unlike many others. I’ve enjoyed being “69,” as it always got a snicker when I was asked my age. Come to think of it, 69-ing is a lot of fun especially since it has often led to follow-on intercourse for me. Now it’s time to see if “older dudes really (DO) rock” or not! I sense that I’ll enjoy my 70s, and am looking forward to getting laid – a LOT!Earlier in the week, my son, daughter, and I enjoyed a nice pre-birthday dinner at a lively and classy San Diego restaurant while we made fun of Dad’s (that would be me, of course) lack of hair, increased facial wrinkles, and sometimes fleeting memory. Come to think of it, all the family members who sent cards or emails and left me answering machine messages kidded me about one or more of the same three of the aforementioned comments from my children. I enjoyed it a lot. Truth be known, I’m a kidder and enjoy the banter and the kidding I get (and give).
The night before my 70th, I attended a running club event, one that one of the girls who was acting as a “hare” for the run had dubbed the “Dave Cummings birthday theme run.” It was a lot of ball-busting fun, even the 5-mile “mountain goat” type trail where 75-80 of us ran through canyons carrying our flashlights while trying to skirt around the blooming poison oak plants without slipping on the bowling ball size rocks. While climbing up a steep hill out of the final canyon I almost wished I had not spent a couple of hours earlier in the day having sex with a lovely coed who almost tired me out from her non-stop climaxing while energetically riding me, almost like she thought it was HER birthday. We finished the run in a young lady’s backyard, ate like kings and queens, and chug-a-lugged a lot of beer. And, yes, since I was the birthday boy, a number of the female runners flashed me on trail and at the finish. I love being around happy people, and that evening certainly filled that bill.
Yesterday, my actual birthday, I awoke to a phone call from my 13-year old grandson and 7-year old granddaughter where they sang me happy birthday and suggested that the three of us should go out for pizza next week so they could give me some presents they had made for “Grandpa Dave.” My son, a foreign currencies broker, and his children live 22 miles from me, so it’s easy to hang out with them. My daughter, a special-education teacher lives in southeast Arizona, not far from where my ex-wife lives, and has two girls, a 21-year old in her third year of Pre-Med, and an 18 year old in her first year at a community college. Being a grandparent is endless care-free fun! My “EX”, an RN, keeps an eye on my daughter’s family, and I watch my son’s (she sends me photos from Arizona, and I send her ones of the family from California); my “EX” and I get along fine, and sometimes use the guest room at each other’s home when visiting the kids.
Last night, I attended a sex-filled swingers party north of San Diego where everyone, as always, was congenial and happy. Yes, I had lots of sex—LOTS! It’s a group of parents and some older folks, so I get to enjoy younger women at “work,” groupie girls in San Diego, and women a little older in swinging; I also often get with all ages of couples from time-to-time, usually where the wife has a “daddy thing” and the husband likes to watch her have sex with a porn star. I may (now) be in my 70s, but my libido seems considerably younger, thanks probably to genetics. After a little bit of socializing, one of the swinger wives insisted on giving me fellatio (notice that I wasn’t crude—I didn’t call it a BJ) right in the living room with lots of onlookers who watched us for a bit and then took our cue and also started playing. From that point onward, the entire house was almost constant sex. Later in the evening, one of the wives said she heard it was my birthday, so 5-6 young ladies sexually attacked me and I had a form of musical chairs sex with a different woman every few minutes (the biggest challenge was quickly putting on a new condom between women). I was in heaven!
Today, I had breakfast with friends at the beach and then did a 6-mile exercise speed walk on the boardwalk; I did two more miles when I got home, followed by an acai bowl that seemed like an ice cream sundae. After I finish this monthly column, I have to gather and sort through my income tax stuff so I can drop it off tomorrow after my beach walk for my tax folks to prepare my returns.
Darn, I apologize for this column being so centered upon me, instead of focusing on sex; last night, some swinger women who had seen my Feb column pushed me to write more stuff like that “cheating-sex-lovemaking” column I opined about last month, and they suggested that I include more about my day-to-day personal life. So next month, it’s either back to sex stuff, or I’ll discuss more about how couples might enhance their relationship, or both.
I’m sort of glad that my 70th celebration is past and gone; it was fun, but now it’s time to enjoy life even more.
Stay healthy, use sun block, stop smoking and start exercising, use safe sex outside of monogamy, and for goodness sakes, be happy!
