SATIRE, USA — In an industry overrun by women, where male talent is often only identifiable thanks to distinctive tattoos, piercings, or scars, and where the size of a man’s genitals is frequently more important than the size of his IQ, the opportunity to truly get to know a member of the minority gender – especially one who does not work in front of a camera — is rare.Already known as something of an “extremist” in the cause of liberty, I have chosen to eschew the rumors and seek the truth about Men In Adult and the special challenges that they face. Allow me to introduce you to The Mike Reynolds Experience.

QUICK FACTS:

Eyes: Hazel
Hair: Brown
Favorite color: Red; a rich, deep red like Texas, Florida, and real American blood – not a pinkish red like Cuba or North Korea.
Favorite flower: Daisies
Favorite song: Right now it’s “Rock ‘n’ Roll is a Vicious Game” by Ray Wylie Hubbard
Confidence building garment: My kilt, definitely. It makes me feel like getting in a ragin’ bar fight — with somebody smaller than me.
Underwear: Boxer briefs. Boxers offer no support, and traditional briefs are for gays, pre-teen boys, and Cubans.

How long have you been involved in the adult internet?: Since 1996.

What did you do prior to working in the adult internet?: I worked on the Jungle Cruise at Disneyland, I was a writer for Wally George (RIP), and I was a disc jockey at KYMS (major Christian radio station in Orange County, CA). My first foray into adult was with 900 numbers in the late ’80’s.

What jobs have you performed while working within the adult internet?: I executive produced a record for Robert Sweet of Stryper back in 2000. So yes, that Christian rock album was funded entirely by money made in adult. HAHAHAHAHA. Sorry. I know it’s immoral to produce Christian records, but I was young and had the money.

What are you doing currently?: Running Swingers.Com and directing a drum and bugle corps in Austin, TX. Check us out at www.keepaustinloud.com. That’s my wife on the splash page. It’s pretty clear from the photo section that it’s operated by someone in adult. Austin rocks!

What was it about the industry that attracted you? What keeps you involved?: I went into business for myself at 17 as a freelance voice over artist and copy writer. I was doing pretty well but working about 60 hours a week and not meeting any girls. So I started using those 900 number datelines. One month my bill was over $500 and that’s when it hit me: I’ve got to get a piece of this. I stay involved because the conventions are fun.

Have you ever found your gender to be a hindrance to your professional success?: Let me be clear about this. There’s a huge double standard in this business. When a woman is tough and decisive, she’s a “bitch.” When I’m tough and decisive I’m called a “son-of-a-bitch”, as if I’m somehow “less-than”. It hurts. I hope one day people I’ve crushed will see me simply as a “bitch”, complete and whole within myself.

Do you feel that adult industry career options for men have increased or decreased over the years?: Ever since women were allowed to attend school and vote, career options for men have diminished across the board. Back in the 90’s I had to work at least half as hard as a woman to get full credit for a job well done. Now I have to put in 75% for the same rewards.

Given how many women work in the industry, how has being in the minority gender affected you?: I grew up in Santa Ana, California as an English speaking, middle class white male with two parents. Being in the minority is second nature to me.

Have you ever felt pressured into doing anything sexually that you weren’t comfortable with?: For a short while I worked at a post-production house doing voice over, and there were these enormous black tables in the conference room. There were seven women in the office, including the owner, and only one other guy, Cecil.

A few minutes before our Christmas party the boss called us all into the back room and ordered Cecil and me to move the heaviest table three feet to the right, which we did right in front of everybody. All the women applauded and laughed and said things about “big, strong men” and something about my shoulders. I felt dirty and sad and ate four gingerbread men to make myself feel better. Stupid cunts.

Has being a Man in Adult affected your personal life?: I’ve been living a double-life as a GOP Southern Baptist and an adult industry icon. It’s actually quite stressful and has been the cause of significant depression. The people at church are OK with it, but once the industry finds out what you’re up to on Sunday mornings all of a sudden you’re a pariah.

Here’s a message for the industry: My personal life is none of your God damned business. Viva Bush.

What stereotypes about men would you like to see done away with?: That we have the ability to be kind and sensitive.

Surrounded by so much estrogen, what do you do to take care of, nurture, and/or reward your masculine self after a long day in the porn mines?: I enjoy playing Frisbee with my little boy. He’s not nearly as good at it as I am but we have a good time mostly. Fireworks are fun too.

What advice do you have for men who may be considering a career in the adult internet?: It’s a great industry, but be prepared to put in a solid four hours work every other day for possibly weeks at a time. The rewards will come.

What would you like all the women in adult to most understand about Men In Adult?: Many men have standards of beauty that don’t involve heroin as a diet aid. If I wanted to fuck the body of a 12-year-old boy I’d buy a clown suit and sign up for AOL. Get back to me when you develop some hips.