My co-workers think I run a website development business on the side. That’s the cover story I tell most people. At lunch yesterday one of them asked me about setting up a website. We got to talking and she asked what kind I do. “Some financial, some personal, those kind”, I replied. “A few adult sites.” She got a bit peeved when I mentioned “adult”. “I hate porn”. she declared. “It objectifies women!”I was saved from a reply by the end of lunch bell. As I worked that afternoon, I thought about her complaint and came to the conclusion that she’s right. Porn does in a way make objects of women, but consider these two blowjobs…

“A young woman, in her twenties and pretty, is on her knees between the legs of an older man. His pants are open and his penis is out. It’s hard and stiff, and glistens with her saliva. She bends forward and takes it in her mouth. They are in his office and the man is her boss. He came on to her from the start and then one day simply said, “Give me a blowjob or I’ll fire you.” The town is poor and jobs hard to find. She has a son at home being watched by her elderly mother, both of which she supports. The money isn’t much but given the choice between giving blowjobs to a man she hates, or going back on welfare she’ll tolerate the taste.”

And…

“A young woman, in her twenties and pretty, is on her knees between the legs of an older man. His pants are open and his penis is out. It’s hard and stiff, and glistens with her saliva. She bends forward and takes it in her mouth. They are on the set of an adult film. She’s working four hours this morning and making more than she used to make in an entire week. The actor she’s doing the scene with is an old friend; they’ve shot a few scenes before. she didn’t like the first guy the director hired, so he hired another. When she gets done, she’s going to pick up her son from the sitter, then they’re going to see her elderly mother for a visit.”

Now you tell me, which of these two blowjobs makes more of an object out of the woman doing them? I’ll grant you, no one is saying a woman being taken advantage of by her boss is a good thing. Yet why do so many look at both of these blowjobs and condemn the second just as firmly as the first?

Society makes objects out of all of us. It’s how we as humans interact with 99-percent of the people we come across everyday. We just don’t treat most people as “people.” How many of you will get gas and, while you go in to pay for it, continue to talk on your cell phone until you get back outside? Consider how rude that is. You wouldn’t go into your boss’ office to drop off a report while talking on your cell phone, would you? Society accepts behavior which treats some people less like people and more like glorified gas pumps that can make change.

So is it valid to object to pornography because of it? Consider this blowjob…

“A young woman, in her twenties and pretty, is on her knees between the legs of an older man. His pants are open and his penis is out. It’s hard and stiff, and glistens with her saliva. She bends forward and takes it in her mouth. They meet at the bar last night and almost from the first she wanted him. They talked for a bit, but she already knew she was going to drag him back to her place and fuck the shit out of him. Her son was spending the night at her elderly mother’s so she has her apartment free to use him like her own personal sex-toy. She hopes he can keep up because she hasn’t been laid for almost six months and she definitely plans on making up for lost time.”

That’s the hypocracy I hear when people complain that pornography makes objects of women. We applaud the ability of a young woman to celebrate her sexuality like this, yet boo when she does it for money? How much sense does that make? Society regularly rewards performance in sports. First with praise in high school, then with million dollar contracts after college. They don’t pay someone like Michael Jordon for his smarts. Basketball treats him as much as an object as adult entertainment treats Jenna Jameson. Both are rewarded handsomely for the pleasure we receive in watching them perform. Why do we protest it in Jenna’s case and not in Michael’s?

I came to the conclusion that the reason society and people condemn pornography isn’t because it treats women as objects, it’s because pornography treats women as objects so clearly. In that slightly guilty moment after we’ve masturbated to the moaning image of our favorite porn star, we realize that she had as much meaning to us as the hand lotion we used to lubricate ourselves. And maybe we pause and think about all the ways society treats “us” as objects.

Do you know the reason gas station clerks wear name tags? It’s not to remind you that they are persons, it’s to remind themselves.