MURFREESBORO, TN — Given recent planning developments at Bible Park USA, the claims of Morality in Media and Concerned Women for America may actually be true, for once. If creation theorists and abstinence only promoters want smut in their religiously based theme parks, then maybe the country truly is obsessed with sex!“Everybody knows the fairgrounds need a shot in the arm,” Bible Park USA lover and Music City adult entertainment promoter E. Buzz Barr admits, “everybody knows the Bible Park needs a place to go – and I’m here to help make the whole thing a success.”
While some may wonder how a theme park that hasn’t even been built and is dedicated to telling wholesome Bible stories can already be in trouble so deep that it needs to add erotic entertainment, Barr is undeterred in his enthusiasm for the $175 million project.
“I’ve never been a big Biblical scholar,” he admits, “but I’ve been looking into it and I’ve got to tell you, there’s a lot more here than Noah’s Ark and parting the Red Sea.”
From his exhibit proposals, Barr appears to be “looking into” holy Scripture that Christians with more delicate sensibilities would just as soon pretend doesn’t exist, which may lead some to conclude that some Bible stories are more equal than others.
Although the park, which hopes to take up 275 acres of Rutherford County property, already intends to amaze and astonish visitors of all ages with interactive presentations of Noah’s Ark, the destruction of Jericho, and the parting of the Red Sea, Barr thinks that offering something of special interest to the 18 and over crowd might be a wise business investment.
Given that the Rutherford County Commission has declined the opportunity to accommodate the still virtual theme park, it’s uncertain how adding sexy content will improve its chances of finding a promised land to begin construction upon. Nonetheless, while promoters are hoping that Wilson County will be more welcoming, Barr is brainstorming ways to bring the sacred and the profane together, all for the greater glory of God – and the corporate bottom line – of course.
Among Barr’s suggestions for subject matter appropriate for an “adults-only” section of the otherwise family friendly park, are a “fully nude Adam and Eve revue, including some pretty graphic ‘be fruitful and multiply’ action.”
Although he does not explain what kind of “action,” visitors might expect, he does suggest that other adults-only exhibits could include “a David and Bathsheba living diorama that will knock your socks off. We can show in detail why Sodom and Gomorrah were so bad.”
Not everyone who loves the idea of Bible Park USA loves the idea of showcasing everything included in the book in question, though. According to the Nashville Scene, a local minister is horrified by the idea, in fact.
Even though Barr can’t understand how anyone would object to the material he proposes, since “This is all stuff that’s in the Bible,” the minister in question is quite comfortable objecting.
“To place this smut side-by-side with Bible stories for children; well, that’s just obscene! Adam and Eve may have been naked,” he insists,” but they didn’t parade around for tourists for two shows an evening, with weekend matinees.”
Barr is undeterred, assuring the faint-of-heart that “They haven’t even heard about my living ‘Song of Solomon’ theatrical production. Man, that is going to pull in the faithful like you wouldn’t believe!”
