CHINA — It’s long been a joke among married men that once the ring is on their bride’s finger, the sex is over. For singles seeking a wedding vow and using the wx920.com website, that’s a given. In fact, it’s exactly what both partners are looking for.It’s not uncommon for Chinese families and singles to use marriage brokers in order to find a suitable match, but the “Marriage for Asexuals” site offers a service that is unique among not merely those to be found online, but throughout all of China.
The thriving website lays claim to the title of first and biggest online broker for those seeking a sexless marriage, counting a membership of 7,000 people since it launched last year.
Given the sprawling country’s previously restrictive past, the growth of the internet has special meaning and is a clear sign that the overall culture is becoming increasingly permissive, allowing tentative but definitive steps by those interested in living in non-traditional ways. Ways that, in some cases, go back not merely centuries but thousands of years.
According to Lin Hai, a 33-year-old Communist party member and volunteer social worker who is known only by his online name, the site was originally inspired by an injured friend’s loss of sexual function but continuing desire for companionship.
Lin, who works full-time in the remote southern province of Guangxi for an information technology company, is still shocked by the popularity of his site and says that more than half of his site’s members are people unable to have intercourse. The rest are “comrades,” a Chinese slang term for homosexuals, who are hoping to hide in plain sight by marrying someone of the opposite sex. Some of the site’s most poignant ads are from homosexuals who have found themselves in desperate personal situations if they do not marry or produce children. Once married, some find life is still a challenge, with some site members bemoaning mistreatment by co-workers and even threats of suicide from family members because of their marriage’s lack of progeny.
Lin has not told his own parents about his website, in part because he has concerns about how they will react to a site so at odds with traditional heterosexual, child-focused Chinese marriage. From Confucius to Mao, the Chinese have heard that being childless is a terrible form of impiety to family, with employers under Mao often assisting in their employee’s search for a spouse.
Nonetheless, what Americans have called DINKs — Double Income/No Kids — has become increasingly popular among young city dwelling Chinese, who are enjoying their new prosperity and shared intimacy in spite of the fact their lifestyles still raise eyebrows among the more traditional. Some couples even spend weekends apart to maintain their independence.
Although the Chinese government is known for blocking content it believes is injurious to Chinese morals, Lin says he has had no official complaints or warnings about his Marriage for Asexuals site, which is free of cost and includes not only personals but also discussions on the topic of asexual marriage.
