HOUSTON COUNTY, AL — Pity the impulse-control limited men of Alabama. Houston County, to be exact. According to the county’s commissioners, men in that region of the country simply can not be trusted around topless or bikini clad women if they have been indulging in alcohol. Determined to keep Alabama men as sober as possible while in the company of sexy dancers who wear minimal clothing or nothing up top, the Houston Country commissioners plan to ban the sale and drinking of alcohol at new clubs that offer erotic dance performances.

A vote on the proposed law, which will not affect clubs already in business, is expected on Monday. Clubs that switch hands, move or require a change in their licensing would be denuded of their alcohol privileges, however.

County Commission chair Mark Culver told the Dothan Eagle that the opening of two new clubs in the downtown area were among the reasons the commissioners felt the need to clamp down on the booze and boobs combo.

“It is our feeling bikini bars are not conducive to what we are trying to do downtown,” he observed. “This will stop any future expansion downtown.”

Currently Dothan has an ordinance with forbids topless dancing, but the overall county does not, meaning that business and employment options exist in areas outside of the city.

“With the growth expect down 231 South, we have already heard plans to establish these places that way,” Culver explained, citing a meeting with The Downtown Group about revitalization efforts. “We are trying to create a family project down 231 and we want to keep it that way.”

Currently “erotic dancing, bikini dancing or other entertainments where the entertainers, employees, dancers or waiters appear nude or semi-nude” are illegal in establishments with liquor licenses. Bars without adult entertainment are not allowed to open within 500 feet of a semi-nude club.

The ruling isn’t entirely draconian Culver assures, pointing out that it “will not impact one-time events like, say, a bikini contest at Hooter’s.”