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Feds Want to Kill the Fourth Amendment

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A disastrous terrorist attack on the internet is imminent, and the only way to prevent it is to strip American citizens of their Fourth Amendment rights. In a nutshell, that’s the argument from the Bush administration as presented by National Director of...
Posted On 01 Feb 2008
, By admin

Playboy Games Moving to Cells

BOSTON, MA — Game-design firm THQ has licensed the Playboy name for a line of branded mobile games.The multi-year deal encompasses both development and publishing rights. According to dbTechno.com, the games will be non-nude and released globally. The first, “Playboy Games:...
Posted On 01 Feb 2008
, By admin

“Please Return Your Beds to the Full Upright and Locked Position”

SINGAPORE — When Singapore Airlines’ new Airbus 380 passenger airliner rotated off the tarmac for its maiden voyage, it was with a significant new rule about passenger behavior: Passengers were to control their “primitive urges” in the suites, please.The world’s largest...
Posted On 01 Feb 2008
, By admin

Hard-on Calling

NEW YORK, NY — Here we go again: The mainstream media is beating the drum about porn on cell phones. A Wednesday report from Reuters called mobile phones “the next frontier for erotica.”“If the adult entertainment industry has its way, Americans will soon get a choice of...
Posted On 31 Jan 2008
, By admin

Mainstream Reporter Bravely Fingers Potential Sex Toy Retailer

JACKSON, MS — The citizens of Jackson, MS probably didn’t even realize that their moral health and safety was once again at risk, but a brave reporter from WLBT 3 not only made sure they knew – but helped avert disaster by going “undercover” at the Adult Video and Books...
Posted On 31 Jan 2008
, By admin

The Day the FTC Saved Ethernet from a Patent Troll

WASHINGTON, DC — America is an unusual country. As the government assured citizens after the New York City terrorist attack of 9-11, one of the chief ways of showing patriotism in the modern world is to spend money and consume goods. Once upon a time, patriotism was shown...
Posted On 31 Jan 2008
, By admin

ICANN Resolves to Curtail “Domain Tasting”

MARINA DEL REY, CA — Apparently fazed by the recent outcry over Network Solutions Inc. “front-running” domain names, the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers last week resolved to curtail “domain tasting” by making domain-registration fees...
Posted On 31 Jan 2008
, By admin

National Serviceman’s Elevator Bikini Exhibitionism Poorly Received

SINGAPORE — It’s hard to know what 21-year-old Tan Wen Zhong was thinking when he got onto the elevator bright and early one morning wearing a pink bikini – but it probably wasn’t how much he’d like to spend a day in jail and pay a $7,529 fine.Nonetheless, that’s precisely...
Posted On 31 Jan 2008
, By admin

XXX University Opens Enrollment to Combat Piracy

CANOGA PARK, CA — It’s not reading, ‘riting, or ‘rithmitic that students of XXX University will be studying – and although the topic may be pornography, it won’t be sex that they’ll be thinking about, either. Indeed, the curriculum being covered at XXX University is piracy....
Posted On 31 Jan 2008
, By admin

Swiss Company Warned About Anti-Piracy Activities

BERN, SWITZERLAND — A Swiss company that uncovers the identities of file-traders by tracking their IP addresses has been warned by a department of the Swiss government that its methods violate the country’s telecommunication laws.Logistep AG, which is incorporated in...
Posted On 30 Jan 2008
, By admin
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