WASHINGTON – While the fledgling Trump Administration has been something of a shit-show as an example of democratic governance, I think we’re compelled to give Trump this much over his former rival candidate Hillary Clinton: Trump’s presence in the White House is leading to much more entertaining porn-related headlines than hers had any prospect for generating.
Oh sure, there would have been porn spoofs (video or otherwise) depicting Hillary and her comically faithless hubby, but I can’t imagine there’d be one involving a casting controversy that resulted in a former porn star issuing heated denials to the alt-right press.
Even having written the sentence above, its veracity seems highly questionable to me. But then I check my browser window again, and there it is: A Breitbart article with the headline “Exclusive: Jenna Jameson Denies Role in Anti-Trump Porn Film: ‘Fake News’.”
Whoa — a double-colon headline? This must be one major scoop!
Seeing as how former Breitbart Chairman Steve Bannon has become the President’s chief political strategist, it’s no surprise Breitbart has been an administration-friendly media outlet dating back well before Trump’s (yugely attended) inauguration.
This chumminess with the Oval Office may also explain why the outlet felt the need to rebut a porn company’s press release suggesting Jameson, a well-known Trump supporter, was set to appear in a porn parody video that seems likely to present a less-than-noble depiction of Mr. Little Orange Tweety Thumbs Trump.
“Completely false,” Jameson said of the rumor she would appear in the video. “I would call that fake news, or a sad ploy by a company in dire need of publicity for their crap film.”
Of course, technically, the company producing the movie never said Jameson had agreed to appear in the film, only that they had offered her the opportunity. The publicity-hungry studio was quick to point that out to the hard-hitting news outlet that is Breitbart.
A representative for the porn company, xHamster, said Jameson “didn’t respond to our offer directly” and “it’s sad to hear that she won’t be involved.”
Describing Jameson as “full-throated in her support of President Trump,” the company also promised to forge ahead without her — but also without dropping Jameson’s character from the script.
“This isn’t just a one-off; it’s a four-year project, and we’re still looking for our DeVos, our Bannon, our Jameson,” the company rep said. “We were hoping she’d play herself, but there are plenty of beautiful women who can play her if she won’t.”
So, to recap, a porn company put out a press release introducing the world to the man who will play Donald Trump in an upcoming video series and indicated it had offered a role to Jenna Jameson playing herself. Jameson then criticized a desperate publicity ploy by responding to it with a quote sure to generate a response, thereby assuring more attention would be paid to the attention-seekers she purportedly finds pathetic.
Yes, I know: By writing about a dumb story about an even dumber “controversy,” I’m only adding to the problem. True enough — but this is supposed to be a trivial little news item, not some double-colon-worthy Exclusive Report from an outlet that until quite recently employed the President’s right-hand man.
At any rate, whatever actual “news value” Breitbart’s Jameson story might have, it sure reeks of the sort of contrived controversy the President used to be part of in a previous gig: His occasional performances for the WWE. All we’re missing is Jameson clubbing her porn parody doppelganger over the head with a metal folding chair.
On the other hand, this xHamster series is a “four-year project,” so maybe it’s only a matter of time.
Image: Jenna Jameson 1995, ©Dirty Bob; Jenna Jameson 2014, ©Glenn Francis, PacificProDigital.com.
