CHINA — The thought police are here and they’re just as cute as the dickens! Of course, “here” is China, the thought police go by another name, and gosh darn they’re cute!As part of the Chinese government’s ongoing efforts to exorcise all that is sexy or subversive, the Beijing Municipal Public Security Bureau has created two absolutely darling anime characters designed to worm their way into the hearts and minds of online citizens – or else.

The diminutive and gender balanced duo wear tiny little police outfits, complete with cute little hats, and cruise the internet on motorcycle, police car, or their wee little feet, stopping every hour at the 13 major Beijing-based portals to remind surfers that they are being watched.

Set to hit the virtual streets on September 1st, the unnamed cartoon pair are expected to work a beat that covers every website registered with a Beijing server by the end of the year.

Although China has been firm in its suppression of content that is counter to the Communist party’s value system, pirated and legitimate content of all sorts continues to thrive on the nation’s servers. The Beijing Municipal Public Security Bureau hopes its adorable online police presence will help change things in its favor, telling the press that “We will continue to promote new images of the virtual police and update our internet security tips in an effort to make the image of the virtual police more user friendly and more in tune with how Web surfers use the internet.”

China’s 137 million online denizens are expected to surpass the United States for the first-place spot in two years – and starting tomorrow they will be able to click on a cartoon character in order to rat out a website guilty of improper content, be it a word or image.