Do Christian communities define “mature” as “between the ages of 7 and 12”? (If so, this might go a long way in explaining some of the troubles the Catholic Church has had with its clergy over the years….)

Women for Decency sounds like a group composed of exactly the opposite of the sort of women I like to hang out with, but at least they are focused on the big picture – in the literal sense, because one of their big campaigns involves partial nudity on roadside billboards.

Dr. Jennifer Brown, a woman for decency who is also a part-time dentist, “started noticing, more and more, the seemingly harmless images contained on advertisements that come through the mail or are posted on billboards and are sometimes difficult to avoid.”

“Even with my science background, I was surprised at the impact this environment that we’ve created as a society can have on our children,” Brown said. “Not only does it make it more difficult for children to not view others as objects, but it goes much deeper than that.”

I, too, am shocked Brown’s “science background” didn’t give her any insight into the mechanics of sexual objectification. After all, I’m pretty sure my dentist was required to take Freudian psychology and women’s studies in the same semester she studied oral and maxillofacial radiology.

As for Route 1520, I don’t know much about them, but if nothing else, they offer a handy online self-assessment you can use to determine whether you’re a sex addict.

Unfortunately, the website for “My Grace Journey,” the service identified by Route 1520 as “a beacon of hope for men trapped by pornography,” was offline on the day I checked. So, if you’re a man who has been “trapped by pornography,” I guess you’ll just have to chew off your own penis in order to escape, like some sex-addict version of Aron Ralston.

Naturally, whatever contributions to NDPSFAPSE these organizations might have made, the real star of the show remains Morality in Media, a group that thinks it’s going to make progress against the “threat” of pornography by labeling entities like Hilton, Sony, Attorney General Eric Holder and the American Library Association among their “Dirty Dozen” – an annual list of “responsible parties in the spread of pornography and exploitation.”

This makes perfect sense, because we’ve all seen Eric Holder in his booth at AEE, handing out free copies of the DVD This Ain’t the Department of Justice: A XXX Parody – and who among us hasn’t stroked one out on occasion while sitting in the coin-op video viewing booths at Barnes and Noble?

While Morality in Media likes to trumpet their “wins” against porn (including claiming credit for Google dropping porn from programs like AdWords), consider this: The organization was established because the standards of American culture were too loose and permissive for them…in 1962.

I’m not saying Morality in Media failed, miserably and comprehensively, in their 50-plus-year crusade to cleanse American media; I’m just saying while its founder was appointed by LBJ to serve on the Presidential Commission on Obscenity and Pornography in 1968, and Reagan consulted with them in a similar fashion in the early ’80s, MIM hasn’t exactly been on the White House speed dial since then.

Beyond that, you tell me: In the 52 years since the organization was founded, do you think the content of “the media” in America has become more to the liking of Morality in Media, or less to their liking?

The answer just might explain all this prayer.

Image: detail from The Garden of Earthly Delights, oil on canvas by Hieronymus Bosch, c. 1480-1505