YNOT – Porn returns to a classic theme — sort of — with the launch of a new website riffing on the well-worn horny-housewife-attacks-lucky-handyman fantasy.

1800DialADick.com presents viewers with this scenario: “Our handymen are equipped to handle any occasion. Whether you need a male companion [for] a five-star event, eye candy for your high school reunion or your plumbing fixed, we have you covered. Get in touch with your inner freak and give us a booty call. We love to service MILFs, cougars and sugar mommas.”

MILFs, cougars and sugar mommas apparently have fallen on hard times. Historically, they could snap their fingers and have a veritable flock of shapely boy-toys at their fingertips. Nowadays, they’re reduced to calling Plumbers Cracks R Us.

Of course, there is the argument that pot-bellied is a shape. And the women engaging in gangbangs, DPs, ATM, ass worship and public sex in the marginally story-driven videos on the site are recognizable adult-industry pros. They collect wages.

“We were looking for something unique in the marketplace,” said [email=arthur@innofsincash.com]Arthur Smith[/email], president of Inn of Sin, which owns and operates the website. “The sex is great, and the scenarios are unreal. It’s a splash of comedy thrown in with some very hot sex. We are very happy with this addition to the Inn of Sin family.”

Inn of Sin Cash pays a 50-percent recurring revenue share.

Ladies, unless you live in Los Angeles — where dialing any number at any hour is likely to result in a dick of one kind or another picking up the other end of the line — don’t try this at home.